Euphoria

Chapter Five

The week pretty much went by so fast. It was already Friday, which meant the party was tonight and the whole school would be here. My nerves were all over the place with just the thought of having so many people over. The only good thing coming out of this party, is getting to see Luca and hopefully talking to him like a normal person.

I was just about done with breakfast when Alyssa came strolling in looking all excited. She noticed me sitting at the counter with a grim expression plastered on my face. I honestly wish this party was happening somewhere else because my social anxiety meter was blowing through the roof at this moment.

"Are you okay? You look a little pale." I hadn't noticed how hard I was clutching onto my spoon until she spoke to me.

"Uh.. yeah, I'm fine." I replied whilst getting up and grabbing my bag. She just looked at me for a second then went back to her phone, probably texting Noah.

A few minutes later and we were all on our way to school. The whole week of school has been surprisingly boring. Nothing exciting happening and no new friends. I've mostly kept to myself and focused on my school work for the most part. The only people I have really spoken to besides my cousins, were Noah. He has really made it his mission to keep me company and become my friend. He has most classes with me and decided to sit next to me in all of them. I urged him not too, he really didn't have to go through all that trouble to make me feel comfortable. I appreciate it, but I don't want him to lose his other friends because of me.

I never knew people could be as nice as Noah has been. It's only a matter of time before I screw things up with him and make him want to avoid me at all costs. I somehow always make people dislike me in the end. And I've come to accept that about myself.

I have also not seen Luca for the remainder of this week. It's like he disappeared off of the face of this earth. I found myself looking around for him when I sat with Noah and his friends, and when I walked in the hallways. Maybe he was avoiding me because he found out I'm gay. Yeah maybe that's why he is gone. He doesn't want to see this fag.... My family taught me that.

The day dragged on right up until lunch break. I was supposed to meet Noah and Alyssa in the corridor but they never showed up. I got this gut wrenching feeling that they got bored of me and didn't want to be seen with me anymore. Maybe they were just running a little late I thought as I waited for five more minutes. People kept staring at me as they walked past me, whispering to each other. I felt myself grow more and more insecure with every passing second that went by. Finally giving up on waiting for them I decided to wander aimlessly through the hallways and found myself at the music room. There were still so many places in this school that I had yet to discover.

I looked around to see if anyone was watching before entering. As I entered I noticed how big and spacious the room was. It had red padding all over the walls which probably made it sound proof. A piano towards the back of the room covered with drapes and a drumset placed to the right near the rest of the other musical instruments. The room smelled of cleaning supplies used on instruments. It was almost as if this room was untouched by the entire school.

I walked around the dark room searching the sea of seats for a place were I could just hide myself from the world. I sat in one of the chairs near the back of the room that hid behind the drapes on the small stage. I nibbled on my sandwich as I thought of how alone I was at this moment. I could have gone to Aiden or Kaiden, but I just didn't want to. I didn't want to seem like the lost puppy who couldn't fend for himself. This wasn't by any means better, but at least I was dealing with it myself. I had by now lost all appetite and just shoved my sandwich back into my lunchbox. The overbearing pain of being stood up just hurt too much to even eat at this point.