Euphoria

Chapter Six

The weekend pretty much flew by so fast and was nothing but uneventful.  We spent our entire Saturday just cleaning up and getting an earful from aunt Valerie about responsibility. The party was a huge success for my cousins, except for myself. I wish I could have gotten to enjoy it as much as they did. If only my anxiety would leave me alone so I could experience things like a normal teenager. But what was even considered normal these days? ugh my life is such a mess.

My alarm kept going off next to me as I just stared at my ceiling. I think I let it go off just to help fill the void I've been feeling as of late. Something about the chaos that resonated within me. As if it were telling my story.

I finally managed to get up and switch it off. My room falling to  silence once again, leaving me with my thoughts. I decided to hop into my shower and distract myself from the horrible memory of Friday night. I stood under the hot water with my eyes shut. Hoping, wishing that when I opened them that this dreadful feeling would disappear. I opened my eyes and was met with nothing but disappointment.

I stepped out the shower and got dressed as slowly as I possibly could. For some reason I just didn't have any energy to do anything in particular. I wasn't tired, that was for sure. But here I was, sat on my bed slouching. Looking at myself in the mirror as if staring at a stranger. I looked so depressed and worn out.  How could I have been alive for so long if I looked like this? Sometimes I felt like I was just lucky enough to be here, breathing and living. I had a horrible record of taking care of myself.

Before I could loath in my self destructing ways a knock on my door brought me back to reality. The door slowly opened and in came Aiden. He had a blue sporty tracksuit on, and behind him stood Kaiden who had a red tracksuit on. They both came in and inspected my room.

"You doing okay?" Aiden asked as he looked at one of my plants.

"Yeah, just in limbo I guess." This caused both of them to look at me with concern.

"What do you mean?" Kaiden asked as he sat down next to me.

I sighed as I tried to find the right words to express what I felt. Sometimes people would take what you said out of context and misunderstand you. And I didn't want that in this case. It's just that sometimes I chose the wrongs words or the wrong expressions.

"I just, I don't know..." I definitely messed that up.

"Hey, its okay to feel whatever it is you're feeling." Aiden said as he made his way towards me. "Its better to let out what you're feeling instead of bottling it up. You're not alone Criss, you'll always have us okay?" I appreciated everything he said, but sometimes it just wasn't enough to make you feel better. I think he noticed it, which made him hug me out of no where. "Im always gonna be here for you no matter what."

"Thanks A" I hugged him back. We stayed like that for a while.

Maybe if I heard all this motivational things for a while I would start believing it and start feeling better. Only time can tell. We spent the morning watching t.v and spoke about how wasted everyone was at the party. Alyssa was practically beaming about how she can't wait for the next party. I was done with parties for the time being. The smaller the crowd, the better.

Kaiden got a text from one of his friends asking if we wanted to go to the park for a friendly game of football. I was about to decline the offer, but Alyssa decided for us both. It was about 2:30 when we left. It was a beautiful sunny day. Not one cloud in the sky and birds were chirping. There was a slight breeze in the air, almost as if it were summer, which was weird considering the typical Autumn weather. We soon arrived and were met with most of our schools football team.