anxious | jack avery

11.

[jack]
i woke up to daniel sleeping in my lap.
"jack?"
"yeah zach i'm upstairs"
he thumped up the stairs to my door.
"can i come in?"
"yeah you can"
zach had a smile on his face. he saw daniel in my lap fast asleep. he sat down next to me cuddling to my side.
"is he ok?"
i sighed looking down at daniel. he didn't really sleep. he barely got enough to make him function in the morning. corbyn would forcefully make him take days off to not record and jonah would always stay with him in case of anything.
"how was his appointment?"
zach shrugged as he sat criss cross.
"i dunno corbyn was ok downstairs so i guess it went ok"
he glanced up at the piles of clothes everywhere flooding my closet.
"geez jack are you cleaning?"
i laughed softly shaking my head.
"attempted to but it's way too much work"
zach got up and dug through a pile of clothes.
"ok i'm going to pick them up and you have to say throw away or keep ok?"
"zach i don't want you to have to help me"
"no let me" he said picking up a shirt.
"ok go"
"keep"
he picked up another.
"keep"
"don't you have two of these?"
"that's yours" i smiled.
he turned it around revealing his last name.
"ohh" he said tossing it to the side.
"oh definitely throw away"
"but this is cute!"
"zach it has a ketchup stain"
"there's a thing called a washer babe"
i blushes at his words.
"it's old anyway"
he picked up another hoodie.
"who's this?"
i looked up to see a purple hoodie.
"...jacky?"
"yeah?"
he lifted the sleeve to reveal blood.
"w-what is that?"
my heart dropped.
"...t-that's d-daniel's"
he dropped the hoodie to come next to me.
"jack i'm sorry"
"n-no d-don't be s-sorry" i stuttered.
he tried to hold my hand but i held daniel's instead.
"n-no j-just"
i couldn't even get the words out of my mouth when i started crying. i thought he stopped. i really did. and seeing him suffering again just made everything worse for me. and for him. it was something that triggered me as much it probably hurt him. we both had this issue. and it hurt. it hurt to see him hurt.
"jack" zach said rubbing my shoulder.
i wiped my tears away and lifted daniel's sleeve.
"don't look" zach said pulling it down.
i only saw a glimpse of it but it hurt my heart.
"z-zachy?"
he hugged my side and glimpsed up at me.
"what?"
he held my hand.
"...just take it" i replied nodding in the direction of the hoodie.
"...ok stay here ok?"
"o-ok"
he kissed my forehead and exited my closet. as the door closed i looked back at daniel.

don't look
don't look

i lifted his sleeve to reveal old cuts. it stung me just by the looks of it. but then i noticed another one. i slid his whole sleeve up as it revealed a big red cut on the side of his elbow. my tears fell on his arm as i sobbed.
"why would you?" i whispered.
i sniffled rubbing my eyes. it hurt my heart. it hurt everything in my body. i needed something to take away the pain. i looked around to look for anything. i spotted the suitcase that daniel was packing for tour. i grabbed his razor and pulled up my sleeve. it stung. the dark red blood pooled out of my skin as flinched at the pain. i felt my vision go dizzy.

and fuzzy

and fuzzier

"jack?"

"oh my god"

"jack"

"jack wake up"

"j-jack?"

"jacky?"