Coffee with Mr. Casey

20 - The Scheme of Things

Alana

“What the fuck happened? Why haven’t I heard from you in weeks?” Phillip paced across my expensively decorated parlor. I wasn’t necessarily worried about his little outburst, but more about my husband’s fragile collectibles sitting on the coffee table. One big swoop of his hand and everything would crash to floor.

“Philip, would you calm down, or am I going to have to handcuff you to the chair?”

He finally stopped moving and turned to face me. Sweat completely covered his face, not to mention his shirt. His pupils were the size of quarters, and the whites of his eyes were stained with red. He was pumping his left fist like he was ready for a fight. He looked like he was on drugs.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I crossed my arms over my chest and stared him in the eye—or tried to anyway. Just like a dog, he looked away.

“I’ve just been trying to figure out why you won’t answer my calls,” he grumbled. “You said you could help me get Lola back and that was almost a month ago!” He was getting really tense at that point, veins sticking out of his neck and clenching his teeth together.

“If you sit down, I will tell you what happened while I fix us both a drink.”

“Screw tha…”

“Philip, if you don’t sit on that God forsaken couch right now, I will take your tiny balls and replace them for the olives in my martini. Now, do I have your undivided attention?”

He huffed like a bull with horns but swallowed his pride and finally sat down like a good boy. I walked over to the bar and set out the dry gin, the Russian vodka, and the olives, and began to prepare a dry martini—shaken, not stirred.

“So when they took off, I told you that I would find them, and I did. Things just didn’t go the way I planned, but it was my fault. I acted impulsively. That’s all you need to know.” I sat down next to him and handed over a glass full of alcohol. In his state, I did question giving to him, but I didn’t know how to calm a guy on steroids, or whatever.

He took the whole drink with one big gulp and sat the glass down on the coffee table. “What do you mean things didn’t go the way you planned?”

“No worries,” I said, taking a sip. “We’re moving on to plan B. They’re back.”

“What?” Philip griped. “You mean to tell me that they’ve been here this whole time? And where have you been in all this?” He started to stand but I firmly grasped his shoulder and pulled him back down.

“Look, I was getting some cosmetic surgery done, okay? So chill the fuck out.” That was only half the truth. I had spent the last three weeks in a recovery facility from cosmetic surgery, but it was my broken nose that was being worked on, courtesy of Johnny’s parents.

“They’ve been here this whole time, and they’re still together. You could’ve called me so I could’ve done something.”

“Please, Phillip. Don’t be so stupid. You’d probably walk in there and beat Johnny to a pulp, and then kidnap the girl.”

He shrugged his shoulders like it wasn’t such a bad idea. I shook my head at him disappointedly.

“Beating him would only push her away from you,” I told him. “The idea is to push her away from Johnny.”

“I’ve already pushed Lola away too much. I think she knows that Julia and I screwed a couple times.”

“Well, that’s your problem isn’t it?”

He lowered his head to the palms of his hands and rubbed his face. "What does this teacher have that I don't?"

I laughed. “You have no idea.”

“Hey!”

“I’m just toying with you. Don’t be so grouchy.”

“You, Alana, are the only one who can make me this grouchy.”

“Maybe,” I said, putting my drink down. “But I’m the only one who can get your girlfriend back, too.”

“Alright,” he sighed, scratching the back of his neck aggressively. “So what’s the plan?”

“Tonight, we are going to the county jail to bail someone out. “

He popped his head up and blinked at me. “What? Who?”

“You’ll find out eventually," I said, giving him a sly smile. “In the meantime, I’m going to get the cash together, as well as some supplies. You will go home, take a shower, and put on some clean clothes.” I looked him up and down, hoping to God that he’d take the hint.

He clenched his jaw as he chewed on his lip. “Fine, but don’t disappear on me again.”

“Oh, honey,” I chuckled. “It would take a lot to make me disappear.”

***

If you are still reading this, I just want to say: Wow, you have a lot of patience. And for that patience, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

Another thing, earlier in the story Johnny mentioned something about seeing Phillip putting his hand on Julia's thigh when they were at the bar. I probably wasn't too specific with that, so I think a lot of people didn't catch it. But yes, Philip and Julia had something going on. Hope that clears some confusion.