Coffee with Mr. Casey

11 - First Step of Forgetting

***************

Johnny

I just watched her walk out of the coffee shop like an idiot. I should’ve done everything in my power to stop her, but Lola was determined to stick with her decisions. And she had made those decisions long before I came around.

I’d realized that taking her to the coffee shop was the worst idea ever. I could’ve had her stay home in bed with me. I could’ve been kissing her ticklish spots, forcing her to dig her fingernails into my skin…

I love that she does that.

And the fact that she bites her bottom lip when she’s holding back a moan, or when she gives me innocuous eyes if she thinks she’s done something wrong. She was unaware that she does everything right.

I sat there alone with my cup of coffee, shaking from the caffeine, or from the anger that was building up inside of me. I couldn’t stop thinking about her fragile body underneath me as I gently took her innocence. I couldn’t shake the longing in her sad brown eyes, or the way she clung to me in the shower. She needed me more than anything and she wouldn’t dare admit it.

I knew she was going to come to school on Monday covered in black and blue. It killed me that there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn’t fathom how she could love her father after doing this to her every time she makes a mistake. Nothing was her fault, but that wasn’t what she believed.

What Lola didn’t know is that I would take her place in a heartbeat. I’m the one who deserves it. I’m the one who singled her out at school. I’m the one who couldn’t control my urges.

Now she’s going home to an angry father who needs his booze and was extra cranky when he didn’t get it. What she needed to do was send him to jail across the country and never speak to him again.

I could say I was being a little selfish because I wanted her all to myself, but above everything I wanted her safe. I didn’t think that that was too much to ask. I thought about calling the police but Lola would deny it all just for her father’s sake. And she would never forgive me.

I wanted to punch the wall next to me but a young couple walked into the room and sat down at the table opposite from me. They both whispered and giggled in each other’s ears, stealing kisses every now and then. I snorted in disgust as I hoisted myself up from the chair and threw away my cup in the closest trashcan.

I made my way out of the room and into the main sitting area. Glancing around at the few taken seats, I had my hopes up that Lola would be waiting for me. She was nowhere in sight so I focused out the window, expecting to see her face among the crowds. She was gone.

When the bells above the entrance door rang, I whipped my head around, expecting her to be there. But it was the last person I wanted to see.

 Alana.

Her curious face morphed into a sly smile as soon as she spotted me. “I knew I’d find you here,” she said, walking over and putting her hands around my neck.

I tried to back away, only succeeding in stumbling against a chair and making a really noticeable commotion. People curiously looked our way but quickly became disinterested as soon as Alana smiled and waved.

“What are you doing here, and why were you at the bar last night?” I asked, ignoring her polite manner.

She sat down at a table and gestured for me to sit. “I heard you were playing so I wanted to come see.”

Even though it went completely against my will, I sat down anyway. “I thought I made it clear that I never want to see you again,” I said frustratingly. I looked around the room, taking note of all the people who would witness her going mental. I had my escape route planned, since the door was so close.