Fall | l.h discontinued

12

"I remember you
Through the sleepless nights,
Through every endless day."
-I remember you
Skid Row

Chapter 12

Alaska

I've read a lot of poetry in my lifetime. I used to be drunk on the idea that love, and only love, could save the world. But there are so many poets that write about loss, and loneliness, and their lack of love. Poets have always seemed to know the world better than anyone else, and reading their work, written so full of emotion and hurt, always held some sort of truth. Truth in that the world is a black hole, wanting to darken the universe by sucking in all of the light. Love was inexistent to me for two years.

My mind, somehow, had created an involuntary infatuation with a certain blonde haired, blue eyed boy, just like my mother, who had somehow managed to be deeply infatuated with Ryan.

Its weird seeing my mother so happy over a man that isn't my father. Sure, she has had previous flings with a few men, but they never lasted long enough for me to actually be introduced to them. Ryan, however, has been around for twice as long as any of the others.

So I guess that is how my mother convinced me into meeting this Ryan and his daughter (who I only found out about last night. I wasn't to thrilled to hear about the six year old girl becoming my partial step sister). It only being two days after the death anniversary of my brother, I was still filled with hatred.

"Alaska, can you help me, please?" My mother called out from her room. I paused my production of making dinner and went to assist my mother, who was nervous and fidgety all afternoon. My mother stood in front of a body length mirror, the zip to her red dress undone.

"When are they getting here?" I asked, pulling the zipper to the top of the dress.

"In the next few minutes. Please try and be civil tonight, Alaska. I know its hard, but please just try." My mother flattened the material of her dress down, turning to face me for the first time in our conversation.

I didn't say anything in return, just nodding and making my was across the apartment to the kitchen. I opened the cabinet above the sink, retrieving the all too familiar orange bottle out. My mother said to be civil, which meant be nice and happy, and the only way I could achieve civil and happy was by taking my anti-depressants. I took two of the pills out, swallowing them with water.

"Alaska?" My mother appeared in the kitchen seconds later.

"Yes?"

"Can you set the table for five people?"

"Five? Is there another child I don't know about?" I asked as I continued to cook dinner.

My mother sighed (most likely in annoyance) before answering.

"No, I invited your friend Luke to dinner too."

What?

If I was drinking or eating, I would have choked. But I wasn't consuming anything, so I was left with dropping the wooden spoon into the pasta sauce.

"Luke? Luke Hemmings?" I asked, covering my shock as best as I can.

"Yes, him. Is there a problem? I thought you were friends."

Is there a problem? My mother invited my friend- the person I partially like to dinner with my almost step family. I think there is a problem.

I didn't have time to dwell on my mothers dinner guest choices for too long, someone knocking on the door interrupting my thoughts. I ignored it, knowing my mother would answer it.