Faults and Failure

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Kat's POV

We reach the therapist centre by the instructions I gave Jackson along the way. We hop out of the car and we walk to the receptionist just inside the building. I give a nice clean smile at the receptionist.

"Cathin Johnstone to see Mr. Holmes." I say and she types away furiously on her keyboard for a few seconds.

"Please, take a seat. Mr. Holmes wont be too much longer." She says as she forces herself to smile at us. We walk over to the hard wooden chairs and we slowly lowered ourselves to the base of the chair, ready for it's uncomfortableness. We sit in the waiting room for a while then I spot Mr. Holmes coming out of his office, a young boy followed him out. They spoke to each other in hushed voices then Mr. Holmes smiles and the boy leaves, in no doubt to find his carer. Mr. Holes spots me and he smiles.

"Cathin, nice to see you again." He asks me.

"Sherlock, how many times have I told you to not call me Cathin." I say, my voice a mixture of a comedic tone and a tone that was deadly serious.

"And Kat, how many times have I told you not to call me Sherlock." He bits back at me.

"But it just fits so well." I say sarcastically.

"You are one of the most sarcastic people alive, you know that?" He says.

"Oh I try." I reply.

"Are you ready to step into my office and stop out little ritual?" He asks.

"Sure why bloody not." I say. I turn to Jackson. "You ok to stay out here of do you wanna know the depths of my mind?" I ask him.

"I think I'll pass, but thanks for the offer." He says as he smiles.

I follow Mr. Holmes into his office and I sit on another hard wooden chair, but this one has a small pillow. His office is small but it is as welcoming as a shrinks office could be. There were a few personal items lingering on his desk. A photo of his daughter, I guess and a woman that must be his wife. There were also a few knick-knacks on the desk as well, I'm guessing to help the poor patient to let out their nerves with fiddling with the small items. The actual desk was a smooth warm coloured wooden table. Behind the desk was a wheelie chair that Mr. Holmes is currently sitting in. There is another wooden chair in the room, as well as a red leather couch. I refuse to sit on the couch and feel like a poor person that feels like the world is ending and the only way is to have someone come up with a diagnosis to make them feel more sane then they are.

"So Kat, here comes the first of the obvious questions that you hate oh so very much." He says

"Oh goodie." I reply. Mr. Holmes shifts in his seat, trying to find the most comfortable place to sit in.

"How are you?" He asks as he picks up a small notebook and a black pen.

"You know, same old, same old. Still depressed if ya asking." I say.

He jots something down. "May I ask who that boy is sitting out in the foyer?"

"You may." I reply.

He sighs, "Kat, who is that boy sitting out in the foyer?"

"Well usually in this situation I would normally say something like 'mind you own damn business', but I know that there is no use in saying that to you so I will say that his name is Jackson and I met him at a party." I reply.

"How did you meet him?" Mr. Holmes asks.

"Well Martin," He smiles a little at me remembering his stupid name. Why couldn't his mother just have called him Sherlock. "That is an interesting story. I would say take a seat but you are already seated. I just finished talking to a person I meet at the support group. She was drunk off her ass and then she went to get even more drunk so I left the buisy crowd and stood at the edge by myself. Then Jackson grew some balls and walked over to me and struck up a convocation then we went to a quieter room to talk because most of our words were drowned out by the music. We talked for a while then I asked him if her drove to the party and he said yes and then I asked him if there was a forest near by and he said yes. So he drove me to the forest and I lead him to a clearing and we looked at the stars and then I said I was tired then he offered to drive me home and I said I didn't want to go back to my place because I was pissed at my parents so he offered for me to stay the night at his so I did. I made pancakes for him and his brother to say thank you and then he drove me here. And I promise there was no fucking in the process. The end." I smile at him as he wrote notes in his little book.

"Well that was a wonderful story Kat." He said when he stopped jotting down notes. "Do your parents know that you spent the night at Jacksons? Have you contacted them at all while you were out?" He asks

"No they dont know I spent the night at Jacksons house. Martin, think about it, would parents of any kind let their teenage daugher spend the night at a boys house? No, they wouldn't. And no I haven't contacted them. I purposefully left my phone at home for that reason." I reply.

Mr. Holmes paused for a moment and wrote something else down. "Do you trust Jackson?" He asks when he finished jotting down more notes. This question caught me off guard. It wasn't the type of question that she expected him to ask.

I take a deep breath before I answered. "Honestly, yes I do. I do because he knows what real pain feels like. He's been through tough times himself and I respect that. I know he won't judge me. I trust him a lot more then I should. That's why I don't want to see him again. For me trust isn't something I take lightly. I honestly don't like trusting people. One time to many I have been let down and I don't want that to happen again. That's why nothing happened between us, I am keeping distance between us, so we don't become attached to each other. Making it harder to break away from him."

Pen back on paper. This time his notes seem to stretch on forever. "Do you have feelings for the boy? More then friendly ones?"

"No. As I said before, I'm not going to see him again, so feelings for him at this stage would be pointless. I would only be hurting myself more."

"What about the boy? Is his feelings for you more then friendly?"

"Yes." I reply.

"How are you sure?" Holmes asks me.

"Because he kissed me, not on the lips, only the cheek. But I could sense that he wanted more then that, but he respected me too much and he didn't want that to effect what we had already made." I reply honestly.

Even more notes were written. "Ok Kat, our time is almost up. I have some new medication for you I hope you don't mind. The instructions are on the back of the packet and on the back also it explains what it does. Stay on them for about a month, I will be assessing your behaviour in the up coming sessions." He hands me two packets of medication and a blue slip incase I run out. "Is there anything you want to ask me before you leave?" He asks me.

"Yes I have three things. One, is the medication going to affect me sarcasm because I love my sarcasm and I don't think I could part with it? Two do you have any more chocolate or was that like a one time thing. Three what do write in your little note book?"

"One, not it's not. Two, maybe slash probably." He replies.

"And three?"

"That's for me to know, and you to find out."