i got josh medicine, healthy foods, tea detoxes, and some new clothes when i went to the store. when i walked in the door, i saw josh sitting on the couch, wrapped in a towel, drinking a mixed drink he made. how did he find the alcohol?
'josh!' i said, furiously 'get that fucking drink out of your hands.'
'what?' he said 'one drink won't hurt nothin' he sipped his rum and coke.
'josh!' i said 'the reason why you're here is so i can help you, not let you drink, we're trying to do the opposite.'
'but it's a little glass!' he said.
'yeah! and then one glass leads to the next glass and then the whole pint.' i stated. 'then you're back to square one. don't you want to prove all these magazines wrong? don't you want to keep living a life of peace and love, don't you want happiness? or do you just wanna become another burnout? it's all up to you.'
'you're right.' he said 'but it's so hard. ya know i haven't had a pill in 12 hours, and i feel like i'm dying. i'm shaking.'
he was shaking, badly.
'oh dear' i said, realizing his tremmer. 'go put these clothes on and go lay in my bed. i'll bring up some water and tea, wanna snack?'
'sure' he said 'can i have some chips?'
'nope' i said, shaking my head 'celery or an orange, habits need to be healthy, or they're just addictions.'
'i'll take an orange' he said 'but in your bed?' he smirked.
'because my spare room is getting redone.' i said 'that's all.'
i got josh his snack and tea, then headed up the stairs. when i walked in the door, i saw him resting his head on the headboard, staring out the window at the birds. i didn't want to let him know, but i am basically in love with him. he needs to get better before anything would happen between us. he looked at me with a kind smile.
'do you want to sit next to me?' he asked 'i'd enjoy your company.'
'sure' i said 'i'll stay and read.'
'to me?' he asked.
'if you want.' i said.
'okay' he replied.
i lay down on the opposite side of the bed, put my reading glasses on, grabbed the outsiders off of my nightstand and turned the lamp on.
'we read that in like 7th grade' josh teased.
'i know' i replied 'but it's a classic.'
'true, true.' he confessed.
'ya know' i said 'you remind me of darry.'
'how so?' he giggled a little.
'you're like that super - dude' i said 'you're fit, you're handsome, you can fight real well..'
'oh so i'm handsome, huh?' he teased.
'oh shut up.' i said, playfully hitting his arm. 'just listen and drink your tea.'
when i stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, i had only two things on my mind. paul newman, and a ride home.
when i read that opening, josh stared at me. he ate his orange and sipped his tea every now and then. i could tell he was focused on the book. every now and then, he'd crack his knuckles, making me shiver. i hated that noise.
'thanks for the story, tess.' he said 'but i aught to go to bed.'
'okay' i said, softly. 'i'll read you chapter 4 tomorrow.' i turned of the lamp and put my glasses in their case.
'ya know' he said, as we lay in complete darkness. 'i haven't felt this good in awhile. thanks tess, you mean a lot to me.'
'i hope you end up comin back and touring, making albums, and all that stuff. but the most important thing is your health at the moment. it takes a lotta strength to admit you need help. you mean a lot to me, too.' i said.
'good night' he whispered. 'lets have a good day tomorrow.'
'good night' i said. 'i hope we will. and oh, here.' i kissed his cheek the slightest bit.
'i'd do anything for that kiss to relocate to my lips.' he whispered.
'maybe one day.' i teased.
i rolled to the other side and drifted off.
