Move on

You love me

Dean grabbed Sam's arm as he walked towards the motel room.

"Yeah, I'm good. A little sore, but I'm fine," Sam assured his brother. He could see the stress of the day on his face.

"We'll get a few hours sleep and head out in the morning," Dean gave a nod as he released the younger Winchester.

"I'm gonna go wash off the...everything," Sam gestured to his stained clothes where dirt and blood were caked into the fabric.

Dean once again nodded.

Thomas went to walk by Dean next, but he caught his arm, "Thomas, wait..."

Thomas paused, looking at Dean with a concerned look. Dean hated how much he didn't hate this guy.

"I'm sorry you got hurt today, that was on me." Dean's tone was strained and sounded almost insincere, but anyone who knew Dean knew that he meant what he said.

"That's not on you, Dean," Thomas frowned. "It's part of being a hunter. It was truly an honor to hunt by your side. I know hunters that would kill to work with you. I'm just glad we got Sam back safe," He placed a hand on Dean's shoulder and gave a comforting squeeze before stepping by.

Dean turned back to the impala to see Cas standing by the trunk. Dean could see by the pinched brows and the clenched jaw that he was annoyed. Dean didn't have it in him to fight with Cas, not right now. He pushed open the trunk and proceeded to put his weapons back into their place.

"Are you okay, Dean?" Cas asked. His tone lacked the usual concern but it was clear he cared.

Dean took a deep breath. His first instinct was to snap at Cas that he was fine. But it's not what he wanted to say. It's not ever what he wanted to say. It was just the safe thing to say. The thing that kept anyone from asking anymore questions. Kept him from having to be vulnerable.

Cas' shoulders tensed when Dean didn't respond. He was going to shut him down. Push him away. He'd hoped that Dean would actually follow through with what he said. Stop blaming Cas. Stop keeping him at a distance. But it didn't look like that was the case.

Before Cas could walk away, Dean choked out a quiet 'No'.

Cas frowned at the hunter.

Dean looked over at Cas with tear filled eyes. "I'm not okay, Cas. I haven't been."

Cas didn't know what to say. He feared anything he might say would cause the Winchester to shut down again.

"We lost Mom. We lost Jack. We lost Rowena. Hell, we even lost Ketch," Dean looked up as if to push the tears back or hide the fact that they were threatening to fall.

"Then you left," Dean bowed his head now, guilt evident in his features.

"And just now," Dean gestured to the entrance to the motel, "I thought I'd lost Sam. I can't take anymore hits man. I just can't."

"You'll get through this Dean. I know you and you're...beyond strong."

"I don't want to get through it. I want it to stop," A tear slid from Dean's bright green eyes. His eyes did always shine extra bright when he cried.

"I don't want to lose anymore people. I don't want you to move on," Dean gestured to Cas' motel room now.

Cas stiffened slightly.

"I get it. Thomas...isn't broken like I am. He's good looking and grateful and he clearly cares about you. But I'm selfish. I see your hand on his leg and I-"

"My hand on his leg?" Cas frowned, tilting his head slightly.

"In the motel room before Sam was..." Dean trailed off. The maid. He had run into the maid when he saw that. Had she manipulated him to see that? "Are you and Thomas..." he trailed off once again, unable to say it out loud.

"We hunt together, that's all," Cas answered, knowing what Dean was asking.

Relief washed over Dean then. A small breath punched out of him.

"Were you...jealous, Dean?" Cas asked, an almost hopeful lilt to his tone.

Dean gave Cas an incredulous look, "I told you I loved you, you really think I'd be okay with some other hunter with his hands all over you?"

Cas frowned, his eyes dropping to the ground as if in thought. "You love me."

It wasn't a question.

"Yeah, I told you I did," Dean practically huffed.

"You meant it as more than a brotherly love," Realization washed over Cas' face.

Dean's brows rose. "You thought..."

"No one has ever said they loved me, in any way," Cas had wanted to be thrilled to hear that from Dean earlier, but he was sure it was a ploy to get him to come back but to Dean it was a confession. A declaration.

"That's not true, Sam and I have said it before."

Cas only shook his head.

Dean's face went through a rollercoaster of emotions. Disbelief, confusion, realization and guilt. "Oh."

"But you love me? Like really love me?"

Dean swallowed and nodded.

Cas stepped forward, he wanted this to be real. To be true. But he didn't want to be hurt. Not again.

"Why?" He asked.

Dean sputtered, "What?"

"Why do you love me? You act like you hate me half the time," Cas' blue eyes stared into Dean's green ones.

Dean wasn't good at emotions or being vulnerable. But he couldn't screw this up. He was sure he wouldn't get another chance. "You saved me. From Hell and every day since. We've had our problems but it's always been you Cas. I trust you. No matter what, I know that I can. Even when you do stupid shit that pisses me off. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. I don't know what you saw in me. Or why you stuck around to help. You defied heaven for me. You gave up everything. How could I not love you?"

Cas was stunned silent. He had never heard Dean talk like this before.

"I know I was an asshole and I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I needed you and that's why I pushed you away. I was afraid of how much I need you. But I knew you'd always be there. I thought you'd come back. I spent weeks waiting for that front door to open, but it never did and now I know I was waiting on something that was never going to happen. I'm sorry. I don't blame you. I blame Chuck. This was all his doing. I was a stupid idiot and I'm so sorry. But you and I we're just better together."

Cas grabbed Dean's jacket and yanked him forward. Their lips connected hard. The kiss was desperate, as if saying everything unspoken between them for the past several years. Dean's hands came up to tangle in Cas' hair. Oh how he'd dreamt of doing this.

When the pair pulled apart breathless and swollen lipped. Dean leaned his head against Cas', neither one releasing the other. "Come home, Cas."

Cas closed his eyes, taking in the moment. "Of course, Dean."

*AN*
Alright guys, this is it. Last chapter. Hope you liked it! This was a one shot that ended up being a bit longer so I made it into a minific. Thanks for reading!