Smile, Billie [ a billie eilish fanfic | girl x girl ]

33 - flashbacks

Before we start this chapter, let's do a short recap...

In the last chapter of Smile, Billie, everyone was at a funeral home to mourn the loss of Bea's dad — Antonio.

Bea blames herself for spending more time with Billie than her dad, and she realises that maybe Billie was just using her sadness to manipulate and kiss her.

Now on to Chapter 33...

33 - flashbacks

The sound of indistinct chattering and clinking utensils fill the air as our family and the O'Connells sit together for a dinner at a restaurant — their treat, as they insisted.

"Oh, Maggie, you don't have to," my mom shyly says.

"Alice, don't worry about it," Maggie gives my mom a small smile as she looks down her menu, and flips it to the next page. "It's nothing, really."

My mom hangs her head low, and gives Billie's parents a small smile in defeat.

"Our deepest condolences," Patrick quietly tells her.

I give Patrick a small smile, and my mom says a quiet, "Thank you."

Maggie then starts to small talk my mom; preoccupying her.

I look at my left, and see Billie looking at me dead in the eyes.

I shift uncomfortably at her gaze.

"Talk to me," that's all she says.

Her deep, ocean eyes hold so much intensity; I'm scared that if I look into them too long, I'd fall into them, and struggle to save myself.

So, I look away; afraid of losing to her once again.

I regain my composure; my eyes fixed at the ground, and force myself to speak up.

"There's nothing to expla–"

"Talk to me."

My eyes quickly shift to hers in shock, and for the first time in so long, I felt intimidated by Billie Eilish.

I look at the others to see if they've noticed the sudden tension, but surprisingly, they're too busy talking to each other, and Finneas is too busy calling Claudia.

I take a deep breath and put up a strong exterior.

I look Billie straight in the eyes, "Don't play dumb, Billie. I know–"

"I'm playing dumb?" she squints her eyes at me; her mouth slightly agape. "What the fuck are you–"

"Yes," I darkly chuckle. "You're so selfish, you know that?"

She furrows her eyebrows at me, but she doesn't speak.

"You manipulated me, Billie. You used my sadness, my confusion, all my mixed up emotions to stick with you. Actually, you manipulated me so well that I wasted all my time with my dad with you."