Terrible Things (A Phanfiction)

Part 1

Terrible Things

(Phan)

Hannah George

“Dad!” I heard Isaac call out. I barely glanced up from my newspaper to look at my quickly growing son. Isaac was turning 17 now and I suppose he was going to ask for a birthday present. I haven’t gotten him anything yet… I’m such a fucking horrible father…

“Ahem, yes son?” I answered to the towering boy standing in the doorway.

He has his eyes, I thought to myself. He has those same giant chocolate orbs I fell in love with many years ago…

“I have to ask you a question… It’s kind of serious…” he trailed off. I’ve already told him that he’s adopted, and that his other father died when he was just a child. So what could he possibly want to ask?

“I’m listening,” I responded monotonously. I don’t think I can afford to buy him a car any time soon…

“What… What happened, exactly, to dad? Like… How did you meet.. What even happened?” he asked. At that, I look up.

“Did I not tell you? We met when he was your age, I wa-“

“No dad, I mean like, in detail. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want, it’s just, I was curious, that’s all…” he scratched the back of his head awkwardly. Dan used to do that…

“No no, its ok, I’ll tell you. You deserve to know. His name was Dan Howell, which I suppose you knew already…”

*flashback*

“Bye guys!” I said, waving to the camera. Dan made a heart with his hands and I followed suit. “That was cheesy,” I stated.

“It was supposed to be cheesy Phil,” he responded wittily, glancing at me with his stupid sparkling brown eyes. I can’t believe he’s only 18, I thought.

I shut the camera off and I looked at Dan.

“So… What do you wanna do now?” He got this goofy lopsided grin on his face and told me that he wanted to watch a movie and make some popcorn. Which I most definitely was not opposed to, he’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen… But, let’s not tell him that I think that, yeah?

We both plopped down on the couch and I sighed in realization that one, neither of us put a movie in, and neither of us made any popcorn. Ugh, but that means I have to get up and move and ugh I really don’t want to.

“Phil, could you be a darling and make the po-“

“No Dan. I’m not going to make the popcorn.”

“Bu-“

“No.”

He sighed before beginning to speak again, “Fine.” He got up from the comfort of our couch and went into the kitchen to make the popcorn. I unfortunately had to get up as well to choose a movie…. Urrg, what to pick?

I put in a random disk and went back to the couch while Dan was simultaneously coming back with the popcorn. It smells delicious, for popcorn anyway.

He plopped on the couch next to me and asked, with his mouth full of course, “So, what are we watching?”

“I actually don’t know Dan, I just put in a random disk to be honest,” I replied, rolling my eyes at the adorable boy. Woah, adorable Phil? Where did that come from?

“Phil you can’t just do that, I never know with you, what if it’s something inappropria-“

“Dan, I don’t own any inappropriate disks.”

The movie finally turned on and I saw it was Titanic. Oh no, someone get the tissues now, this movie always makes me emotional. But then again, it’s Titanic. Who wouldn’t get emotional at this movie?

I looked over at Dan to see his reaction, but he was already really into the impending doom that is the Titanic. Ok then.

It was about halfway through the movie when I could physically feel Dan getting closer to me. Which I don’t mind, I guess, this is a sad movie. But it’s also a rather romantic movie… Why am I associating Dan with the Titanic?!

Maybe he isn’t getting closer. Maybe it’s all in my head; maybe I just want him to be closer.

Wait, what?

I took a glance at the brown haired boy next to me and well, let’s just say that was a mistake.

The way the light hit his beautiful tan face, which by the way isn’t pale like my stupid complexion, made him look like such an angel… How did I get the opportunity to know this boy?

No Phil, seriously you need to stop thinking about him like that. It isn’t ok to like Dan, any other guy besides Chris and PJ would be ok. You can’t like your friends, not after what happened the last time, remember?

I change my mind, maybe he IS actually getting closer to me…

It’s almost the end of the movie now and Dan was physically sobbing into my shoulder. He was getting closer, I knew it I knew it! My mind WASN’T just playing tricks on me!

I can’t even focus on the movie anymore, not with Dan in such a close proximity. My heart feels like it’s in my throat, being a million miles an hour, maybe faster. My stomach is doing weird flip-flop things, this isn’t good. I can’t like Dan, I won’t like Dan, I don’t like Dan.

Oh who am I kidding, I really like him. Maybe I always have. Maybe I should stop saying the word “maybe” before someone shoots me in the face. Of course I’m not actually saying it, I’m thinking it. I need to stop thinking so much. Maybe. Ugh!

His tears are soaking into my shirt. I frowned, and I silently vowed I never want to see him cry ever again after this day.

“Dan?” I asked quietly, shaking him by the shoulder.

“Mmhm?” He asked, face still buried into my shirt.

“Could you look up for a second and talk to me?”

“Yeah sure,” he said as he slowly looked up to meet my eyes. His eyes were red and puffy, and they looked almost itchy. Tears were rolling down his cheeks, and his hair was kind of a mess. This is it, I think. Then another thought occurred to me, one that I think is less welcome.

“Why are you staring at me?”

What if he’s straight?

“I…. Uh…”

“I can tell by your eyes that you’re in love with me Phil.”

I placed one (still very pale) finger under his chin and tilted his head up so his whole face would be visible to me. My heart is beating hard and I think this might me a mistake, my stomach is flopping around like a fish out of water and my skin feels like it’s on fire as I slowly leaned down and touched my lips to his. Shit I think that might have been a huge mista-

He slowly pressed his lips on mine, giving it a little more pressure and our lips started moving in sync. This is absolutely perfect. Maybe it wasn’t a mistake if he feels the same way?

He pulled back (much to my disappointment) and looked me directly in the eye. Oh no, here it comes.

“That was……”

What?

“That was…… Uh…”

IT WAS WHAT?!

“That was nice….” He said as he started slowly scooting farther away from me. My heart feels like it’s been shattered. If it was nice then why is he pulling away like I’m some disgusting creature?

He sat on the other end of the couch and we watched the credits roll in on the screen. The movie’s over? Since when?

He pulled out his phone, sent a text to someone, and put it away. Then turned to me and said, “Can I spend the night with you tonight?”