Bulletproof // h.s

03

harry

her health was constantly getting worse. i couldn't take it much longer. 

she was all i had left. her gray eyes, her thinning hair. and she was slowly slipping away from my grasp. 

my mother, mareline colette garnier, was suffering from SMA. also known as  spinal muscular atrophy. it's a very uncommon and rare disease and of course, with my luck, my mother was diagnosed with it in march of last year. ever since the doctors told us, we've been falling apart. at first, the disease only affects motor neurons that help people to sit and walk and move their head. but soon, if the case worsens, in severe conditions, it can affect the muscles that help one to swallow food and breath. 

that's exactly where my mum is now. she can't eat, she's growing weaker by the day, she can barely breath, and the doctors have given up on her. 

since the day she got diagnosed, we have been running around the country, looking for the best doctors to see if they could cure my mother, but there was no cure. she kept taking the pain medication and kept falling deeper and deeper into the hole where i knew she would eventually never come out from.

i was holding on to her in my last few days with her. sleeping with her, talking to her though she would not respond, trying to build memories before she was gone. but what kind of memories are these? memories of her coughing? memories of my heart racing every second her breathing stopped for a second, thinking that it was over?

i almost wanted it to be over. i didn't want to deal with the constant frustration of this ridiculous disease that the only person i cared about had to suffer from.

i had gotten her a get well card even though it was too late. even she knew that she wouldn't make it but it didn't bother her as much as it bothered me. she spent her days sitting in her wheelchair and staring out the window. i would brush her graying hair and put it into braids so she wouldn't have to deal with it in her face. i would sit in the awfully quiet house, listening to the beeping of all the medical machines that had been brought in over the course of the last six months and the ticking clock.

i waved goodbye to my mom as i walked outside and slipping my winter jacket on. i wiped my fresh tears off of my face as i felt new ones coming. 

i slowly made it over to the black bench that sat in the center of the park. quietly sitting down, i stared up towards the sky and let out a quiet scream.

why was this happening to me. why did me mom, of all the peo-

"are you alright sir?" said a chirpy voice, cutting through my dark thoughts.

i couldn't see the girl's face clearly through the tears in my eyes that blurred my vision as she sat down next to me. 

"no. i'm not fine." i replied coldly, putting my face into my hands so that she wouldn't see the tears i couldn't control. 

"you know, telling someone else what's hurting you is the best way to get rid of the pain. it's scientifically proven you know. and, it's not like we'll ever see each other again anyways. so just go for it. pour your heart out to me." she said with an encouraging smile.

"okay," i sniffled, wiping my tears to look at the ground.

"my mother has spinal muscular atrophy. you probably don't even know what that is. since it's so fucking uncommon." i said as i focused on the droplets of water on the overgrown grass.

"no i don't, but just because i don't know what it means doesn't mean it's not important." she replied.

"well, it's a disease that affects a person's ability to move like walking and sitting down and even talking or breathing in my mom's case because of the loss of a certain type of nerves. she's doing awful and i probably shouldn't even be out here with her alone in the house except that good for nothing nurse that sleeps all day." i said, taking a breath.

i heard her chuckle at my last comment and i finally got the guts to look at her.

her brown, almost red, hair was laying on her shoulders as she figdeted with the sleeves of her sweatshirt.

"go on now," she said, smiling.

"that's all. i mean, she's dying and i don't know how to cope with it and i have no one except her in this world and i'm in great debt from all the money i took for loans in hope that i would be able to find a cure. it just feels like everything is wrong. sure, i have clothes on my back and food to eat but i think i would be happier without that and with a healthy mom at this point." i sighed.

"here. i'll tell you what. i'll be here for you. come here everyday at six okay?"

"okay." i said hesitantly. she looked strangely familiar but i couldn't figure out where i had seen her face. her face was a round circle and she had slightly chubby cheeks. her nails were painted black and her eyes were sparkling blue. i wondered how she could sound so happy, act so happy, make me so happy.

i walked back home, my eyes suddenly more dry than they had in a whole week. she had a strange kind of power over me. it's like magic, between me and her. and i hope it never ever fades away.

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(a/n) i updated after like ten months i know, sorry, but a lot of you were excited for this book and trust me, the real interesting part comes soon. :))

happy reading lovelies.