✔︎ Two Morons And A Mad House (2/2)

Chapter 4; Morons

By the time Naruto and Sasuke got her home, Sakura was ready to kick their teeth out.

This was not unusual, all things considered. Whatever. That still didn't make her want to do it any less.

They had stopped on their way home to get dinner at the little takeout place. Sasuke was driving in front of Naruto and Sakura, so they just followed him. Naruto was diligently keeping less than two feet between Sasuke's car and the front of her car, and when a poor bastard tried to merge-read: cut-off like the little fucker he was-between Sasuke and Sakura's cars, well, Naruto wasn't having that.

At first, he laughed. And there was something to know about Naruto and his laughs: They were either the most pure and good-natured sound you ever heard and the simple sound of it could make any crappy day just a little more bearable, and then there were the few laughs of his that scared the crap out of everyone.

They weren't even necessarily evil or threatening sounding. But there was just something about them that set your teeth on edge. Something about them that drew attention and make the muscles in your back tense right up. It was the sound of someone who was so typically kind and generous and forgiving trying very hard to rein in his inner demon. And you really, really didn't want to anger that inner demon. That laugh was the only warning you would get; it was the laugh of Naruto really telling you Rethink this decision. Quickly. Typically this kind of laugh was heard when either Sasuke or Sakura was in some kind of danger - or at least, what Naruto perceived as danger.

And, apparently, some poor bastard who had likely had a long day behind a boring desk job trying to cut-off Naruto and make him lose sight of the teme's car was perceived as a threat.

Maybe it was because it was simply stupid and dangerous to try to merge between two cars that were already so close together. Maybe it was because the bastard was being rude and offensive about it, attempting to cross the lane without having the room to do so. Maybe it was just because Naruto had already heard the teme tell him earlier that day that Sakura was running into a burning building after an explosion and he was in his protective-best-friend phase, where the normal, carefree Naruto would suddenly turn into a demon shot out of hell.

Either way, Naruto made this kind of funny laugh that-was-not-really-funny-at-all-and-kind-of-terrifying-though-Sakura-would-never-admit-it and Sakura, out of instinct, closed her eyes and prayed to God.

Basically, honks were sounded. Curses were muttered. Possible skid marks were made. And one angry Uzumaki phone call was made to one perpetually angry Uchiha about fucking bastards on the fucking road who can't effing drive and did you get his license plate number?

Sakura, smartly, stayed out of it.

Then, when they actually got to the takeout place, there was the issue of letting Sakura come in. Sakura demanded. Naruto whined. Sasuke glared. She didn't trust them to order everything correctly (it was mainly her who would pick up food anyways) and the owner knew her and her usual order, and if she could just walk in and let him see her, they wouldn't even need to tell the owner their order. All would be well in the world that was her fucked up life.

But Sasuke and Naruto wouldn't hear of it. Apparently, she was still woozy and dizzy and they didn't trust her to use the bathroom in the restaurant by herself in fear of her passing out and hitting her head on the corner of the filthy toilet and having the awkward experience of having to break down the bathroom door in a restaurant to make sure she was still breathing and therefore the apocalypse would ensue because her pants might be down. This was their soundproof argument, of course.

Sakura almost ended up punching Sasuke after he just continued to stand there with his insufferable Hn escaping his mouth every few minutes, but he was quick on his feet and caught her fist before it could properly greet his face. Too bad.