Warrior Cats Lab.

Improving Sol

Side note before reading:


-Hollyleaf is a part of the three in this version and Power of Three and Omen of the Stars are merged into one. Ivypool and Dovewing could still exist, but not as main characters. Maybe Ivypool is apprenticed to Hollyleaf instead of Cinderheart, having a completely different teaching method to Liionblaze. Could be used as a way to show the contrast between the two siblings.

- All supernatural craziness would be toned down. Rock and Jayfeather going back in time to the ancients is dropped as well as Midnight the talking badger spirit. And Starclan and Dark Forest cats can't physically appear in the real world. (But Jayfeather may keep his stick, but only as a running gag. Maybe it could be the stake from the foxtrap, used to kill Hawkfrost.)

-Hollyleaf's power: she can make herself completely undetectable, even to Starclan. So she can cut off her scent, able to move without making a sound and her black pelt makes her blend perfectly into the night. The only thing giving her away is her holly green eyes.

- I'd also make a tweak to Lionblaze's power, which instead of having the vauge power of 'never being able to be defeated in battle', he'd go into unstoppable battle rages, wildly attacking anything in his path, friend or foe. And it can only be switched off by Jayfeather's powers.

Where his character went wrong:

When Sol first appeared and claimed he was a "traveler" and he seemed to know things he shouldn't, I was really fascinated by where his character would go. I thought he may of been like real world cult leaders, a cat that uses deception to get what he wants. Which he was for the most part, but it wasn't executed very well. I feel like his manipulation wasn't very believable. I wasn't convinced Sol was able to accomplish what he does to Shadowclan in that short of time. It's always characters telling the reader how's Sol 'really creepy' or 'great with words'. But we never get to see those apparently great skills in action.

A good example I think to show this, is in Sunrise, after Sol is captured by a Thunderclan patrol becuase they thought he'd murdered Ashfur. Now the scene itself has a good setup: Sol is staring at the moon, with Hollyleaf standing below him, both of them completely alone. This could of been an excellent hero and villain moment, them simply talking. However, the main problem is build up. This scene doesn't feel earned due to the previous books failing to invest most readers into Sol's character. When Hollyleaf even admits she still feels like she can trust her life with him, despite everything he's done, it feels like it comes out of nowhere and neither is there a payoff. It's a real missed opportunity for Sol not to know about Hollyleaf killing Ashfur or the three being Half-clan.

When his strange amount of knowledge is written off, as Midnight just telling him everything, it feels too convenient and really washing down his character, making him feel less intimidating. Not to mention, it makes Midnight's character also look bad in the process, seemly telling this random cat everything for no good reason. It gets worse when Sol's backstory is revealed as; random kittypet, abandoned by his mother because she couldn't look after him. We have seen this 'parent(s) abandoning their children' backstory for too many villains already: Tigerstar, Brokenstar, Darktail etc. And we've seen so many kittypets, rogues, loners etc. it makes me want to see a group of cats, to help expand the world even more and reminding us that the Clans don't make up the entire universe. The only other major unique group is the Tribe, who still share their ancestors with the Clans.

Characters feel stupider for falling for Sol's plainly obvious manipulation, with Blackstar trusting him for seemly no reason and Windclan and the tunnels, despite Sol being a well-established threat by then. Every time Sol appears, he never really makes an impact, never causing any deaths or anything. Each time he reappears in the Clan territories it's predictable, almost a cycle: Sends most of his time moping about the borders, gets lead to Thunderclan's camp, tries to manipulate someone but failed at it and gets chased off for the 3rd time in a row. Turning him from a possibly threatening presence to no more than annoying pest. He's meant to be a charming narcissist, he should steal whatever scene he's in. He's not even slightly funny or creepily charming.