Home is Where You Are : A Milkweed fanfic

Chapter Three

How long has it been? Days? Months? A year? I couldn't remember. Seasons have come and gone. Orders were given, and ordered were followed. Some by choice, and some by force. Most of mine were the latter. I was still sore from the ridicule of my peers.

But I was relieved that I was finally going to be able to return home. That is, until I got the news. I knew I had to warn them, and only them. They had to get out of there, no matter what it takes, they need to get out.

I don't know where the trains are going, or where they're from. I just know that I had to find Misha as soon as possible.

The wind was cold. Brisk. Freezing. Not too different from the last time I visited. The snow wasn't soft anymore. It was more like walking on piles of ice. Nevertheless, I went on. The candy in my pocket had begun to melt. I wondered if Misha would still take a melted hazelnut buttercream. He probably would. I imagined his face, seeing the small treat in my hand. The thought made me smile, closing my eyes as I did so. Despite the cold, I felt warm inside just thinking about seeing them again.

The gate was even more guarded than before. It was practically swarming with armed men. Probably because of the smugglers. Misha had found me at the hotel once. He could've gotten hurt. Or worse.

I tried to picture the other boys smuggling too. Where would they go? How would they get over the wall? Kuba wasn't that slick, was he? Well, he wasn't stupid either. He and the boys would find a way. How would Olek do it? How was he doing? Was he doing well? Was he still alive? Were any of them alive?

The last thought didn't sit well with me. I cast it aside, trying to drown it out in the endless chatter of the guards around me. Some were speaking about the new orders and procedures. The word 'train' had come up multiple times in each conversation. Trains, trains, trains. Even before today, I already feared the monstrous vehicles. After what happened to Olek, I made sure to be wary of them. But now, they had a different meaning.

'Deportations' my superiors had told me. They were going to take the people away. The boys. Misha. They were going to take it all away. But where? I didn't have time to think of that. I had to get to the ghetto. And I had to do it quickly. I knew the trains would arrive soon. Whatever they had planned for the ghetto, I was going to make sure that their plans never reached the boys. Especially not Misha. I would take him with me if I could. I would take him and run as far away from this horrid place as possible.

But deep down, I knew that it was nothing but a fantasy.

When I finished brushing past the bristling shoulders of the people surrounding the gate, I was finally able to get in. The guards were different this time. No smile, no nods. Just cold stares and blank faces. I didn't mind. I never liked socializing with them anyway. Always ended up with them asking about where I was from, who my parents were, where my family was. I made up stories for each of them. Nobody could know what I was. Only the boys.

Walking through that gate felt...different, somehow. The ghetto was different, grayer than usual. No, it was the silence. I stuck my hands in my pockets, hunching my shoulders. Luckily, I had a cap on today. It wasn't like anyone would really pay any mind though. My superiors made me cut my hair so short the red barely peeked through the bottom of the hat. But that was fine with me. The less attention I brought to myself, the better.

I looked into alleys. I gazed down streets. Walked along the sides of almost every building. Yet, I still couldn't find any of them. Even through my coat, I could feel the stinging cold. The weather was the last thing on my mind, however. All I could think about was whether or not they'd already been taken. Or killed. Or both. Just the mental image of their corpses made me sick to my stomach. My mind created scenarios for each of them. Kuba, for stealing trinkets for the rest of them. Enos, for responding rudely to an officer. Ferdi, caught trying to sneak out, the smell of smoke giving him away. Big Henryk, because he'd caused a scene. Olek, for not having an arm.