Embracing the Wolves

[28] Fate and the Furious

After sending Ryder my location, I saw the headlights of Zander's red truck sooner than what it took for Andrew to drive us here. I hoped more than anything that Ryder wouldn't be petty enough to send Zander to pick me up, but I was relieved to see him hop out of the driver's side to approach me timidly.

"You okay?" he asked me. I only sighed and he removed his sweater before putting it around my shoulders since I hadn't accounted that the temperature would drop so much tonight. When he was done covering me, I quickly took him in a hug around the torso. He was stiff for a fraction of a second before he hugged me back and clung onto me just as much. Even though I was still mad at him for lying to me and embarrassed about all that just happened, I needed this right now. At least being in his arms melted some of my problems away. He pulled away and looked at me sincerely.

"I'm okay," I lied before he would ask me again. I watched him nod without fully believing me, but I recognized that maybe he was doing what I did when he usually shut down on me. Only, I appreciated the passiveness for the moment because I was still wrapping my head around everything. He simply let go of me and opened the passenger side door.

Even though Ryder had picked me up seemingly fast, the car ride back felt painfully long without either of us saying anything—not that the words weren't right there for us to verbalize. I, for one, had a lot to say. And I knew he would too because he was Ryder, not the passive imposter that had been driving tacitly. Maybe I didn't prefer his passiveness on either end of his involvement. And I just conveniently let that thought slip through.

"So are you just gonna make dinner plans every night to avoid me?" he finally asked. I looked over at him, but his eyes stayed on the road.

"You always seem to avoid me when you have a problem," I reminded.

"Yeah but I'm working on that, remember?" he asked and then tried to produce a breathy laugh. "It's generally a bad decision for us to—"

"Yet you think lying to me is better than ignoring me altogether?" I interrupted, causing him to look over at me in short bursts that didn't cause him to crash the truck. "Because I trusted you to be honest with whatever is going on with you, yet you went and—"

"I don't know what you're talking about," he interjected. "You're the one who ditched me Sunday and refused any attempt I had at talking to you—"

"Because you lied."

"I lied?" he asked, incredulously. I think I even heard him laugh. "I ask you to lash out at me for killing someone and that isn't good enough for you, but whatever lie you think I told you warrants me three days without you speaking to me or telling me what's going on? Do you get how crazy that is?"

"It's not crazy."

"It is," he insisted and smiled as if this was all some joke. "Just tell me what's going on with you. I didn't lie."

"You didn't lie?" I asked.

"I didn't lie," he assured.

"Then answer me something."

"Anything."

"Did you or did you not kill Preston?"

"Ash, we've already been over this—"

"Pull over."

"What?"

"Pull the truck over. I'm getting out," I raised my voice, causing him to sigh stressfully. He did as I instructed and pulled the truck into the gravel shoulder of the interstate. When I reached for the handle, he locked the doors. I looked over at him, not at all wanting to put up with any more of his bullshit, but he stared down at the steering wheel.