Drop dead

Chapter 10. I don't live in darkness

Miles 

They're still alive. 

I should be happy about that, why aren't I happy about that? 

There's something seriously wrong with me. I can't even recognise myself in the mirror anymore. 

Maybe Val was right, maybe this was a mistake. Maybe it's not too late to run before she destroys us even more. 

But I liked that feeling of watching someone's life go up in flames. That's bad thing, right? Even if  those people are monsters and deserved it?  

Don't I get to be happy without having to fear that they're going to find me again? 

I miss the days when I could be happy where I didn't really have to worry about anything. Except for finding a place to stay the night and food. But at least I didn't have murder on my mind. Elizabella seems like a nice enough girl, but she can detach herself from it. She doesn't feel the remorse like I do. 

But I feel guilty about feeling guilty. 

I died and he lived- how is that fair?  

Why can't I get what I want without it being so horrible? 

The eruption of laughter reminds of where I am- hiding in the bathroom while Paige and Elizabella have some sort of dance party while Valentina glowers in a corner. They're drunk. Even that can't explain why Elizabella morals and personality has changed so drastically she's having fun. It's scary.

I still want to kill someone, but I'm too afraid to leave the safety of the bathroom. Drunk girls dancing are the scariest thing I've ever witnessed. Girls are scary. I never want to see another girl. Ever. 

Maybe we could be different. Maybe we could be heroes. 

I hope he dies a painful death and then rots in hell. 

"Miles! Where are you?" I hear Paige yell. She's pretty, she likes to have fun. That's all she really has going for her, besides her unrelenting anger burning inside her. She covers it very well though.  I don't respond. 

Can't I just be left alone in peace and quiet. Usually, I would love to have fun but I'm tired and grumpy and there's no chocolate in this house. 

You know what. I suck at the moment, I'm done with moping around. Dancing's fun. Paige is pretty. Elizabella is scary normally but she's absolute psycho when she's drunk. Maybe he'll get drunk too and leave Val to cope by herself.

She's not taking being dead well. I mean, her mother drove off a bridge. Elizabella told me that, I don't think she was meant too. It sounds kind of private.  She should be happy, it would explain why her parents never looked for her, and why she acts like she's older than is. She never laughed at my jokes, so I kept telling them. So she called me immature. 

My jokes are funny, it's not my fault she's a stinking loser. 

I open the door and Paige squeals for joy, Elizabella now looks like she's being held prisoner and is not happy about it. She got in herself into this mess and it's glorious. 

"Come dance with us!" Paige yells, a bottle of something pink, most likely alcoholic in her hand. 

"Somebody please shoot her. Better yet, somebody shoot me" Elizabella groans, she was having fun five minutes ago, has she finally remembered who she is? 

"I'll shoot you, for free" Val says and Elizabella shoots her a glare. 

This is what I came back from the dead for.