Drop dead

Chapter 18. Ten minutes

Miles

I watch as the stars shine in the sky, pushing through the wandering clouds that drift across the night sky.

I can't sleep. I feel sick, and my heart is going crazy.

Every time I close my eyes he's back in front of me, his eyes wild with anger, his ears red and his lips in a twisted smile. I can't move and he laughs at my pain. Mum sits on the couch, letting it happen.

And I can't do anything.

I can't sleep. I see his face, w with the same look that was briefly on Elizabella's. They're not the same. But they are.

I never should have gone with the others, I should have run away and hid. But I couldn't, I'd be a terrible friend. I'd prove Valentina right. It's good that he's gone but I shouldn't have looked.

The night's peaceful, my Mum is probably drinking wherever now. Enjoying her life like she always has, not caring at the cost. I don't know why I call her that, she was never my Mum.

I want to be normal, to have a normal life, preferably with a boyfriend. But they've taken that from me like it was a game. And now I'm an invincible mess, a person who doesn't exist because I'm dead.

"You know, you could just go back to your old life" a voice behind me says, and I jump, nearly falling off the ledge I'm sitting, she squeaks and grabs my arm. Good reaction time. I turn my head around slightly, to see Paige there. "Move over a bit. I could hear your misery from my room"

"What are you wearing?" I ask her

"Pyjamas, obvi" she replies, scrunching up her eyebrows in confusion.

"They have unicorns on them"

"Yeah and? Unicorns are the bomb" she says, somewhat defensively, "you know I mean it"

"Mean what?" I ask playing dumb, I don't want to think about it. I can't go back there.

"Going back to your old life. Your body was never found, for all they know you're just missing" she says

"They arrested someone for murdering me" I point out. I can't go back.

"One, maybe he just sucks at killing people and two, he didn't actually do it, did he? Just tell them that your parents have been keeping you locked up somewhere, or something. Go give them hell" she says, only shivering slightly, "you could have them arrested"

"I guess" I say, I'm not strong enough for that.

We sit there in silent as the clouds get thicker, blocking out the distant light. Neither of us have anything else to say, we're basically strangers.

"You could go back to your family, try to fix things. Explain that something bad happened to you. They could get you help" I say, feeling slightly sorry that she's left with no one.

"No. It's too late for that and they'd never believe me. He still has dinner with them, you know. They're probably glad I'm gone" she scoffs, twisting her hair absently.

"I don't think that's true, I'm sure they love. They're just concerned and upset about things. Have you tried talking to them without the belief that they are the enemy?"

"Whatever"

"I still can't believe that you pushed him down the stairs" and she bursts out laughing. It's refreshing, it's like we're just normal teenagers again. It's like we haven't sat metres away while our friend murdered someone. It's like we never died.

I wish we had met before.

I look at her and I know she knows that she was already on a downward spiral, pushed by the pressure of the perfect daughter, pressure to keep up her parents reputation. She was just waiting to be pushed further enough to make a fatal mistake. Sure, Hayden was a dick and should've gotten her help but she took the drugs willingly.