Shadow's Artbook and Stuff #6

~The memiors of a killer~

So I got bored and decided that it would be interesting to dive into the mind of a killer. I decided to look at my morals and the socially accepted moral compass and completely flip it... so you know... I could write in the mind of a killer. I completely disagree with everything this person is saying in my writing, I just wanted to dive into what a serial killer might be thinking about their murders. How it's completely different then how our mind thinks about it. It was interesting and hard to write.
Again... these are not my thoughts at all, just a thing I thought would be interesting to write about. Anyways, here it is. Ignore the lack of paragraphs, in on my phone so like... that's hard to judge. Let me know if you want to read more and if you want me to continue with this character's twisted thoughts!

Mama always told me that the eyes were the gateway to the soul. I believed her, as all good children should. But... one day I wanted to test it for myself, I was curious to see what their souls reflected towards me right before death, I wanted to see if you could see the exact moment the soul left the body. I wanted the soul to tell me everything about that person right before the connection was cut. I wanted a story... A timeline that I could only see... It was a pity, really, when I found that the only thing my test subject's eyes showed was the reflection of my curious and blood spattered face staring back at me. I saw nothing even slightly relating to a soul within that man's eyes. I sensed fear, yes, but no soul. Nothing to give me the feeling of accomplishment. This subject just might be defective, plenty of people were, at least, in my eyes they were.  Everyone I tested that didn't give me the appropriate result were marked as defective in my journal, there were so many. It was quite irritating, really. It was a pain to get rid of so many defects without anyone else noticing my behavior. People, well, would disapprove of my experiments, due to their high 'morals'. I stopped trying to get people to see my views a long time ago, it failed each and every time. People marked my off as psychotic and having a lack of empathy. These negative reviews on my studies did not allow the funding and support I needed... so I turned to a more... secretive way of conducting my experiments. I seem to be the only one who thinks human experimentation is the only way to really confirm our scientific research. Other scientists frowned upon my ideals and thoughts. The community shunned me, ignored what I had to say, and tossed me away like one of their defective lab rats. I didn't see what was so wrong with my research to prove souls actually exist within people. The only way I could test it was using actual human beings varying between, race, gender, age, and ethnicity. I made it clear that I wasn't being bias in my studies, no one was segregated out of my mix of subjects to study. It was obvious that these men and women did not have the motivation to lead past simple and dated norms of society to seek the upmost correct results for science. I honestly do not see the problem in taking open volunteers to experiment on. They were willing to die, it was obvious enough. But that only happened in a select few, And the results had biases of their own. I had to take matters into my own hands.
     I decided to pick out my subjects without their knowledge. I did not much like the idea of stalking them to find out if they were adequate enough to be involved in my studies. I also took no pleasure in the media calling my subjects 'victims' instead. It was in poor taste of the journalists who caught on to my movements. It was not long before the police connected the dots of my recent failures. They just could not find me. It made me chuckle each time I read 'unknown killer' in the news coverage in the papers. It seemed like I was a god, escaping their grasps and outwitting them in everything I did. They did not know my face, nor my motives. This, in turn, made me more confident that I was doing the right thing, for if the Devine order wanted me caught, they would have allowed the police force to have found me by now. Or maybe I even outsmarted the creators of this world.