A dog chasing cars

Chapter 5

My eyes slowly flutter open and I'm immediately greeted with a sore neck. I don't remember how I got to my bed but I lay there, the sun peaking through the heavy black curtains. The little bit of light forced my eyes closed as my temples throbbed. " Jokeeer!!" My voice croaked out. The raspy sound seemed so foreign to me. His stupid fucking henchman put his hands on me, I can remember that much. I also remember the pain stopping right before I closed my eyes. And for a second, just a split second, I felt calm, almost like I was free. I definitely feel the pain now. What if I am dead? What if I'm in hell? I would go to hell wouldn't I ? If hell is real, I'm definitely going there. I'm gonna spend the rest of eternity in this small dark room, thinking about my fucked up life and how many times I had to opportunity to do good but instead I was selfish.
Suddenly I was taken out of my thoughts as Joker barged into the room that I just previously thought was my own hell. It is my own hell though. I can never leave. Joker sure as hell wouldn't let me. J came to the side of the bed and knelt down beside me. I turned my head slowly and agonizingly as pain shot through it. I let out a strained whimper and a small tear escaped my eye and landed on the silk pillow case that my head was rested on. He reached out a hand and caressed my head. His fingers run through my soft black locks like butter, and he looks away for a second. He feels bad for me, I can see it in his eyes. His eyes normally appeared emotionless yet playful, but this time there was something else there. I look at the mirror across from the bed. My frail body lay there limply, cuts all over my face, my eyes red and bloodshot. My neck was a dark purple. I looked like the light in my body was gone. My skin more pale than ever. This isn't me. I'm gone. There's nothing left.
"I... I'm sorry about him. Last night got outta hand yknow?" J stuttered out, as if he had no idea what to say to the broken girl that lay in front of him. "Joker I cant stay here." I said In almost a whisper and turned to him "what am I doing here?"
He licked at his scars for a moment before opening his mouth to speak. Nothing came out. His forearms flexed as his hands tightened around the sheets. For a second it seemed like he was angry, like he was gonna hurt me. I would've been okay with it.
"Sweets... I just don't want you to leave." He said quietly. J never spoke quietly. He always spoke in such a theatrical way. People wouldn't be able to look away when J spoke, even if they wanted to. It was like going to a broadway show that you didn't even buy tickets to. Some people's hearts raced out of fear when they heard him speak, but mine... mine felt something so incredibly unique. It's like when he spoke, my heart opened up, like a blooming flower. I could listen to him speak forever. He could talk about anything and everything. "You make me feel more alive than ever doll." He said in a matter of fact tone. My mouth fell open in shock. As much as he talked about the thrill of killing and robbing banks. It was me? I make him feel alive? He reached down to his shoe and pulled out something. It glistened in the light and I immediately knew it was a knife. My throat hitched for a second as he put the knife up to my mouth, pulling it slightly but not enough to break the skin.
"Do you trust me?" He licked his lip slowly.
"No."
"Good."