hug all ur friends || boyf riends

nine

nine - i'm not letting go

My eyes are half-open, my chest is rising heavily up and down as I try to breathe and my body is pretty much numb from the waist down. I take another shaky breath and look over at my boyfriend, who's as breathless and naked and shaky and sweaty as I am. I manage a smile, manage due to how exhausted I am.

"I've literally never done that before."

"I..." I yawn. "I figured."

Jeremy lightly slaps me against the arm, "Hey!"

"Hehe, sorry. I have to admit, it was...it felt good. But it was honestly kind of weird and painful and gross and exhausting."

"Agreed. It wasn't as good as I thought it would be."

"Maybe it's because you're, like, a bottom and you just nailed a top."

Jeremy giggles. "I couldn't ever see you fucking me, Michael, just saying."

I frown. "Maybe if I weren't vertically challenged, I could do it."

"Maybe. But that's not happening any time soon, short stack." He plants a kiss on the top of my head.

"I'm not even that short..." I mutter. Jeremy wraps his arms around me.

"I love you." He says.

"I love you more."

"Bet."

"Bet."

Jeremy and I giggle for a moment before I press a lazy kiss to his lips, almost kissing his chin doing so. I lay my head down on his chest with a sigh, closing my eyes and wishing we could stay like this forever. For once, I'm not thinking about dying. This is the calmest my mind has been in years.

"Thank you for staying...and for doing this with me...and dealing with all my noobiness. All on a school night."

"Anything for you, Micha." I can hear the smile on his voice. It makes me happy knowing that he's happy. "What does this make us? Are we just friends? What are we?"

"Pfft, Jeremy!" I laugh, loudly at first, but I don't want to wake up Momma, so I turn down my volume.

"I'm just kidding. I love you, my squishy and cute boyfwiend." Jeremy presses a kiss to my forehead.

"I love you too, Jere. I love you a lot." My eyes remain closed as my body begs me to rest. I follow through with the pleading and I drift off to sleep, cuddling with my boyfriend with a smile tugging the corners of my lips.

-

I wake up cold, even underneath my blankets. My room is dark, but what do I expect? I live in a basement. I whine loudly, hoping that it might get Jeremy back in here, but then I remember that he had school. It finally occurs to me when I check the time on my phone, surprised that I was able to wake up at eight in the morning after going to bed around two.

I sit up, shivering when the cold air hits my skin. Right. I remember what happened before. It explains all the pain in the lower half of me, my legs, my ass. I smile upon remembering despite the pain. It makes me happy knowing that I got to do that with the boy I love, and that I even got to do it. The thought brings my attention to my headache. I hate that I constantly wake up with headaches now.

I turn my lamp on and slip out of bed, stretching when I stand up. I quickly search around my room and find a clean pair of boxers, slipping them on. I look for my hoodie and I find it on the floor next to my bed. I slip that on too.