"So you gonna do it tonight." Brook asks eagerly.
"I don't know."I mumble, biting my lip.
"Come onnnnn you said your resolution was to be more open about you and your sexuality."Brook whined.
"But it's scary.What if he finds me weird or he brings a girl tonight!"I yell."
"Dude it's Rye.He wouldn't look at you any differently and what do you mean he only just broke up with someone."Brook laughs.I only cringe at the thought of his ex.She was a bitch and I had watched them kiss and cuddle far to often.She didn't like me.Rye and I were far to close for her liking.I don't blame her.Are friends constantly yelling how cute we were when I would barely even touch him probably bothered her.Heck it upset me sometimes.It seeming real at times though I knew it wasn't.I knew we Rye loved me but it wasn't I love you in a I'm in love with you, but a brother love way.It hurts but that's how life works.
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Me and Brook had made far to much food for one night but I'm sure Brook will eat plenty of it.
The doorbell rang and Brook was pulling my arm to come get it with him scared it's Jack and Kristy.
(I have nothing against them they cute and I'm happy Jacks happy and I know Jacklyn won't be real but like my heart is still 40% Jacklyn so)
"BROOKIE." Jack screams practically jumping on him.I only smile going to hug Kirsty and wishing her a Happy New Year's Eve.Jack finally let's go of Brook and gives me hug making Brook hug Kirsty.He didn't hate Kirsty nor did he have any reason to.She was sweet and had no idea Brook liked Jack.He was just Jealous and wanted to have Jack.
Everyone had arrived except for Rye.I was kinda of relief because Brook was practically forcing me to admit my feelings.But nothing was on my side as the door bell rang.I head to the door opening it to Rye and a small figure behind him but he also had a hand in his.My heart sank as I saw it was a girl.
"Um hey." I said.I had kept my stare down and let them in.Brooks smile drops as he see's the girl Rye has rapped up in his arms.Brook grabs my hand and takes me to his room.
"Who the fuck is that." Brook yells.
"Brook I don't know and honestly I don't want to."I mumble tearing up.
"Hey, no bubba don't cry."He says pulling me into a hug.I bury my face in to his neck trying my best not to cry.
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The night continues and I learned that Rye in-fact had already gotten a new girlfriend.It was almost midnight everyone settled with someone and I had sat by myself barely talking to anyone but Brook continued to give me worried looks and I just smiled even though I knew it didn't make him feel any better.The countdown was starting soon and everyone had someone to kiss.I didn't.I didn't think I'd care as much as I did but I also didn't except Rye to bring anyone.
Soon everyone was screaming counting down from ten but I didn't want to join.It was stupid.Its only a new year.As everyone counted down I watched Rye lean down to kiss the girl.I feel tears burning my eyes and I quickly run to my room.I can't do this again.Nit another year of Rye dating non stop and acting okay with him.I hear footsteps to my room and I quickly begin to panic.My face is a mess and I'm still crying.The door quickly open reveling Rye.
"Fovvs what are you doing in here."He asks chuckling a little.
"New Years is stupid you know that."I mumble.
"Hey what's wrong."Rye asks concern filling his voice as he sees my tear stained face.He walks over to me and raps his arms around me.
"I can't tell you."I mumble.
"Please."Rye begs knowing I can never say no.
"I'm in love with someone."I whisper.
"Who."I begin to tear up closing my eyes letting a tear fall.
"You."I whisper.I feel his arms release me and I keep my eyes close until I hear the door close finally letting me break down.The sudden feel of rejection.I cover my mouth so I'm not as loud close to screaming.I gasp for air begging for my inhaler.I hear sounds around me but I can't see anything everything blurry.
"It's not working he won't take it."I hear Brook scream.
"Brook for gods sake!" I hear Rye yell slightly confused to why he still here.I feel another person in front of me feeling something push past my lips.I feel my inhaler but nothing helps.Suddenly everything goes black.
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I wake up looking around confused to learn I was in bed.I find Brook sitting at my desk spacing out and then suddenly looking at me.
"Oh god you scared the shit out of me don't ever do that again."Brook says kissing all over my face.
"Where is everyone."I ask.
"Well everyone's in the living room."He smiles.
"I need to talk to Rye."I mumble.
"Um he...he went home."I begin to tear up hurt that he wasn't concerned for me.
"He thinks he brought you the attack and didn't want to make anything worst."
"I told him I loved him.I told him and he just left.Brookie he just fucking left."I sob.Brook gathers me in his hands and whispering in my ear.
"No it's okay.I swear he still cares."
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It had been a few weeks Rye completely ignoring me the best he could.I gave up on talking to him.He hated me and I can't fix that.
"Hey And I'm gonna invite the boys over.This includes Rye."
"Yeah whatever."I mumble.
"Their gonna be here in like 10 minutes."
"Okay." I smile cleaning up a little so it wasn't a complete mess.
They got here not so long after and Brook was far to excited that it's was just Jack.Everyone finally got here including Rye making me hide in my room.
I hear a knock and say a quiet come in.I stay on my side not really caring who it was until I felt to arms rap around my waist.I turn around in their arms finally seeing that Rye had been there.
"Fovvs.I love you too." He whispers finally smashing his lips onto mine.
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Happy New Year.Um this is kinda how I've been feeling about a boy except I can't get him and I also think New Years is lowkey dumb.Anyway I hope you had an amazing year.Thank you have a nice day
