stomachaches

chapter four

"Thing is," Gerard says quietly, voice almost a whimper, "we got in a fight that day. I believe his last words to me were 'go the fuck to work and don't expect me to be here when you get back.' I remember mine to him were 'fuck you, you fat fucking prick.' We never meant any of those things. I love him and he loved me. Though I still do not know if his overdose was an accident or not, but if it were on purpose, I'd like to think he'd have left a note." There was a pause.

"On second thought, I probably don't deserve a note. I said horrible things to him that day. That wasn't the first time we'd ever gotten into a fight, obviously, we'd been together for 6 years. You don't make it that long without fighting. But I'd never called him out on his physical appearance, especially something he can't change and something he was self conscious about. And who the hell knows? Maybe it was my fault." The pauses for a moment, in thought.

"I never want these to be any of your thoughts. Please think before you speak and love everyone you might not see tomorrow, and that could be anyone. Thank you for your time." Gerard waits out the applause and cheers with a strained smile. He waves, thanks them again and leaves the stage. Some of them were crying more than he was.

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Tears run down Frank's face as well, add he applauds, knowing full well no one can hear or see him anyway.

"Probably louder than everyone in this damn crowd." He laughs to himself, he laughs only to himself now. He smiles sadly as Gerard walks towards him, unknowingly. He steps to the side, as to not be in Gerard's path, not that it mattered. He wouldn't see him and he'd just walk right through him. But, it's just his instinct. It hurts, "but at least I can still see his stupidly pretty face" Frank grins and steps over to where Gerard is hopelessly trying to fix his hair while also trying to gather himself and stop crying.

"I love you, you dumbfuck." Frank whispers, smiling and snaking an arm around Gerard's waist. Gerard immediately stops what he's doing and shivers, still sniffling, eyebrows furrowed in confusion for only a second. And then he knows; he can smell Frank's cologne and it feels like his energy.

"F-Frank? I love you and I'm sorry..." Gerard says in a low, shaky voice. Frank just rests his head on Frank's shoulder and says nothing, because he knows he won't hear him.