sugar | bjh

vii.

is it too late now?

you wanted to turn back the time to the first time you met her. maybe you would have appreciate her better and treat her better. spend more time with her. now it's too late to say all of those.

"so this is all the paid one." joohyun hands you the files.

"i just want you to know that it has been the greatest two months in my life." she adds.

you can't face her, not strong enough to let her go.

"you know , i really appreciate your company." her voice make you feel bad. it make you feel bad for leaving.

"i never really be in this same-sex relationship. you teach me things that you didn't even know." she says and stares at you who is avoiding her eye contact.

"i hope you will be in a relationship with a man of your choice..not with a woman like this anymore.. be happy for me, please." she says as her voice cracks.   'a man...'

"i hope you take care of yourself well. eat well , don't get into trouble." she just wants to look at your eyes and know what you feel. because all she know is that she feel horrible.

"thank you , joohyun. thank you for every single cent you spent on me and every single second you spent with me. i...will never forget you." you say , trying hard to fight the tears.

you are leaving korea to finish your study at the best university that you could transfer to , england. you could stay with joohyun if you wanted but because of this offer , the two month contract is the last.

she wanted to come with you. but what if you didn't feel the same. maybe this is what you really wanted. to be free without her. to leave her . it's not wrong because that's why you signed the contract.

"hyerin, i will never forget you too. thank you for...for everything. i...i...i.."
she wanted to say it , scream it but she can't. it is stuck in her throat. ' i love you...please stay..'

"i..-i paid for the tickets." she says as she fumbles into her bag and gave a pouch to you. you leave at 2.30 PM next week that's what she remembers from the ticket that she bought.

"have fun at england...be happy,  hyerin."

"joohyun .....- bae joohyun...thank you for all of this." you said as you stand up and turn your body away from her.

the tears that you had been holding is now pouring down. they run down your cheeks like you've never cried before. you hand reach the door knob , grabbing it and ready to twist it open and leave this, all of this.

joohyun's tears is running down her cheeks as well the moment you turn your back at her. she could not let you go , not yet.

you take a deep breath in as you twist it and step out of her office. this does not feel like freedom. your footsteps are heavy, trying to lead yourself away . away from joohyun.

the sobs that joohyun has been holding is now out. she hated to be so weak and so stupid in times like this. why can't she just stop you. it was muffled when she buried her head in her arms. is this how it is supposed to hurt like?

you bit your lip trying to make no noise as you walk out of the building, the staff eyeing you weirdly but why do you feel nothing?

---------

"so is everything ready?"

you look through your bag once again making sure all the documents are there. all the selected students are ready to go on the flight.

"hey, how are you feeling?" namjoon says as he sit himself next to you. "I am feeling okay..just nervous.." your voice trailed off and your eyes are looking around the airport.

"anyone you are expecting?" he asks. you did not know the answer yourself. are you waiting for someone? will she be here to see you off?

"nope, really no one." you lied and lean against the chair.

. . . .

joohyun curses when she take off her heels. it has been killing her all day to walk in those killer high heels.

she sighs deeply when she saw the small scratch on the back of her foot. the small scratch has been stopping her from walking normally.

she walks slowly to her drawers and opens them. her hand rummages through and grabs a band aid out when she feels the plastic wrappers.

her eyes soften when she sees the band aid.

.
joohyun laughs when she saw the cartoons on the band aid. it was a small white rabbit and a crown on it's head. "seriously?" she laughs more.

"hey, i'm not gonna help you if you laugh." you says jokingly and cross your arms. she stop laughing and then smiles at it.
.

she laughs when she remembers your reaction to her when she judged your band aid. now, she can't stop smilling as she recounts all the memories.

her smile fell when she sees your back as you left her office. it was the worst one.

she sighs and shakes her head. 'no, joohyun it has been a week..'

then her eyes lit up. she grabs her phone and look at the time , 2.02 PM.

without thinking anything at all, she runs out of her office and slams taehyung's table.

"bring me to the airport , right now."

                              - - -

you sat at the lounge next to namjoon and the others. is it too late to think that she will come? you glance at the gate and the security, will she comes screaming for me?

"aah, ten more minutes." namjoon stretch his arms over his head. he seems excited to leave all of this behind.. you shook your head when you realised what you are thinking. why are you being so sensitive?

you glance once more. still nothing. bae joohyun, are you really letting me go like this?

-----

"excuse me , please." those words spits out of joohyun mouths so much as she slides through the crowd at the airport.

she runs when the crowd is almost clear. she runs, barefoot in an airport.

" flight xxx , boarding now." you sigh and picks up your backpack. glancing at the gate, no one.

"are you ready , stephanie?" namjoon says , calling you by what he says is your american name now. you smiles as you follow behind him.

joohyun's steps are now even more painful, she finally reach the waiting lounge after she 'bribes' the security to let her in. she looks around it , at every faces.

she is limping now, unable to walk properly. taehyung finally catches up behind her then holding her arms when he saw her limping , helplessly.

"HYERIN-AH !!" she lets out a yell. she can't find you. she can't see you. she can't tell you how much she loves you. she sobs as her legs gave up on her. falling on her knees.

this world felt like it is a slow motion to her.

she's too late.

you looks outside the window by your seat. you wanted to run to her office and tell her that you love her and you care about her. but your head tells you that maybe she is glad the contract had ended , you have been nothing but an awful girlfriend. she deserves someone better.

"are you okay, girl?" namjoon asks when he saw your frown. you smiles and nod.

no, i am not okay. take me to her , then before you realises it,

you're too late