The Bad Boy Saw Me Naked (ManxMan)

Chapter Five

Lilac~

I wake up on top of a giant warm pillow, this pillow smells nice, actually fuck the pillow smelling nice it smells like a pool of orgasm worthy scents. A smile crawls onto my face, small purrs escaping my lips, I can't help but snuggling closer to this delicious scented pillow. The real question is, what kinda pillow smells and feels this good? I nuzzle it curling up hugging it tighter, until I feel two arms wrap around me turning me onto my side. I open my eyes, letting out a sound of shock when I see Xyan looking down at me his gorgeous face appears amused, those plump soft lips turning from a smile into a smirk. "Someone is happy. Maybe don't rub against me so much," he chuckles softly. I blush, trying to pull away from him, instead being pulled closer to this lovely man listening to his laugh. God I feel like he actually cares, but I know he doesn't, but it feels like he understands I was upset.  I look at him, then looking down tears rimming my eyes hiding my face in his chest sniffling. Nobody has held me since my parents died. Yet here I am cuddling this man who absolutely despises me, he's harmed me, called me names and mistreated me, but he's being so gentle right now.. is it really that bad to want to be held longer? To be comforted even if it's by him?

I blush holding him tightly as I shake whimpering softly sobbing into his chest. I was so stressed, from him acting how he does, everyone bullying me, being alone, my parents dying a month ago, and I somehow ended up being Xyans mate... Fated forever with the one person who hates me. Who will hate me forever and ever and probably Reject me... That must be why he is holding me he can to reject me. Of course... God I'm so bipolar, I understand being damaged and what not but I'm such a fucking baby, I can be happy one moment and the night I'm crying because I'm going to be rejected. Welcome to the life of having no hope for yourself or anyone, everyone is born to create offspring, and if not that then to have sex and die, it's just a repeating cycle that will never end, animals are the same way. No matter what anyone does in their life you die, it doesn't matter what happens in the end or if you're remembered, because in the end there will be no one left to remember you. No one to love you, or care about you, wonder about you. Even if I and him managed to date what would happen in a day when we fought, or a week, or a month, after every fight would he grow violent? Would he still care about me? Would he leave me? Or would he stay and put up with my stupid bipolar self regretting not rejecting me. Maybe there's a good route, but I see us as water and oil, we don't mix. Or maybe fire and gasoline, we just fuel eachother, I'm not good for him I know this so why does it make me so upset thinking about it?

I sniffle turning away curling up hiding my face in my pillow letting out soft sobs, hiccuping quietly, who would want a person like me anyways... A idiot his best friend saw basically naked, a simple omega he hates, that he doesn't care for. If he does accept me he would use me for kids then leave me, maybe sell me off, I can feel when he is with others, the mate bond isn't as weak before since we lived together was strengthening it. Even if not for those reason we don't mix, we clash, I don't want to hurt him. Even if it would feel nice to be with him why would I do that to someone I love? I hiccup letting weak whimpers out, forcing the covers over me my body quivering. I let out weak sobs into my pillow using it to muffle my cries.

I flinch feeling his hand touch my shoulder whining lowly as I scout away, sobbing into the pillow the tingles dancing along my arm. I shake and push him away every time he touches me whining and whimpering. I growl squirming when he pulls me into his chest not letting me go this time. "Lilac. Stop, calm down now. I'm gonna spank you at this point, calm down... I'm not gonna hurt you why did you suddenly get so scared?" He growls saying it in that harsh tone, I hate when his alpha side leaks out. His scent becoming more dominating as I hiccup slowly forcing myself to stop crying wiping my eyes on his shirt tiny sniffles coming from me as I rub my eyes like a toddler who just got done having a tantrum. Jesus, my parents just passed but I'm such a baby...