The Bad Boy Saw Me Naked (ManxMan)

Chapter Nine

Lilac~

Is it up in bed, letting a small groan out lifting my hand holding my forehead rubbing it for a moment. I glance to some medication on may night stand next to a glass of water, coughing deciding wether or not to take it, scooping the pills up downing them. God Lilac, you really let yourself go. I am thinner then before, I can't even fake a smile I just look fucking ugly, the bags under my eyes were darker and bigger than the 50 gallon black trash bags at the store, my skin looks dry and pale, almost paper white, I look like I am a goblin that crawls out from under your bed, and I scare you with my hideous looks and you puke even from it. I lift my wrist to my lips, checking to make sure it's warm, placing it against my forehead, I'm still running a pretty high fever.. I just have to put up with it. I walk to the bathroom showering, scrubbing my body and massaging the shampoo and conditioner into my hair when needed brushing it in then out while I rinse it. I step out, wrapping a towel around my chest looking into the mirror, brushing my teeth, drying off, putting lotion onto my dry flakey skin. I should try and moisturize myself more often. I let out a small sigh doing my makeup, trying to smile. At least I look okay now. I step out of the bathroom, pulling on a pair of panties, some fleece lined joggers, a fleece lined black hoodie and matching boots coughing, shuddering from the over whelming cold feeling taking over me. 

"Hey guys sorry about last night I didn't feel that well, I ran off cause I was having some bad memories of my parents and I got sad is all." I say giving them my famous, 'I am happy on the outside and whatever on the inside' smile. The smile I give everyone, "Alright well.. I don't want you walking today, you can ride with Xyan or go on the bus but you can get sick. " Dom says Miss Jessica only nodding. I sigh, "I'll be fine bye." I walk out hearing Xyan walking down the stairs. I let the tears well in my eyes as I quickly leave letting a small sniffle out rubbing my eyes. God I already hate this day. I leave the house quickly, running despite stumbling a bit into the woods next to the house, making my way through them. Xyan speeds by, I can't help but wish I was in the middle of the road, like damn, why do I even feel this way, it's his issue with me why do I have to be so depressed?

Even if I run he will still come to bother me, holding me at night whispering lies to me, manipulating me into believing them, he would use me, after using me tossing me to the side, who knows maybe if I'm lucky I'll get pregnant in this imaginary scenario, and he may just keep me around long enough for the child to no longer need to be breast fed then toss me away. Xyan will never love me, he never has, he won't ever even care about me. Xyan has no reason to. I pull a sweater out from my bag, carefully pulling my hoodie off, slipping the sweater on then the hoodie purring from the warmth. 

I go deeper into the woods smiling when I find it climbing up, it's a treehouse my dad and Dom built together. It was for me and Xyan but Xyan pushed me out and broke my arm twice and my leg once. After he stopped going in I would come in, dirty used socks on the ground and such things.. Though I always cleaned it up, I made it into a little palace for myself and locked it. I climb up smiling a bit, opening the hatch and lifting myself in closing it. The windows are sealed with plastic making the room warm, I have a bed up here with spare blankets still to. A desk for doing homework and drawing, relaxing. Fairy lights hang around the ceiling a tree in the corner. Last time I was up here it was snowing. It was about Christmas time so I decorated my tree in such a theme as I did for every holiday. I walk over smiling looking at the green tree. I and Xyan had a small kitchen, it got messed up by him trying to cook so we replaced it, I'm not sure if the bathroom works anymore either. He would always bring his friends up here when he was about 14 or 15, they'd all drink, smoke, party, and leave a mess till I came to clean it they constantly broke things. I'd have to ask my dad or Dom to come fix them, and they would and they'd help me install more lights or they'd help me figure out different rugs that would look good or bean bags and that type of thing. The room with my bed and desk are locked off though, instead there was a "living" room part with bean bags and a small sofa with a tv. It's maybe three years old but it still works, we have movies, my PlayStation 4 that I had is still up here even the controllers, there is even some weed on the ground.