Twist Of Fate

Forty Two

HARRY

Shit just got seriously fucked up. Like, what the hell am I even doing? Let's just take a minute to step back and look at this whole situation from afar, shall we? 

I killed someone. 

I then fled the scene, and I took what wasn't mine. 

I somehow acquired a tagalong who has actually been of some use along the way, even if she's a fucking emotional liability. 

But then I fucked her. Twice. 

I can't undo any of it. I keep thinking maybe I'll wake up in my own bed, Sofia pecking my head about coming home late from the Flute, or screaming at me for shagging someone else behind her back. 

I miss Sofia. I never thought I would ever say that, but I do. But she wouldn't take me back if I cheated again. She said so last time, and I could tell she meant it. Which means I've well and truly fucked that up now, too. Along with everything else. 

I can't even remember how long I've been on the run. I can't remember how long it's been since I saw my family. I'm trying not to think about them because I get this horrible ache inside me that won't go away. I daren't try and contact them because if the police have put my picture on the news, they sure as hell will have Sofia's phone monitored and will have a squad car on me quicker than Sofia can say "you're dumped." And to top it all off I'm permanently hungry, permanently tired and permanently smelly. I can barely function, and if wasn't for Chloe and her fucking atlas I would have either died or been arrested by now. 

Fucking Chloe. Possibly the most irritating person on this planet. Why she's still tagging along I have no idea. If I were her, I would have fucked off a long time ago. I don't exactly encourage her, but she's like a fucking limpet. But, she's also kept us out of danger (mostly), and when she relaxes and lets her guard down she's actually alright. But it's like she's constantly seeking approval from me, and it really grates on my nerves. And I'm not good at keeping my temper under control.

I shouldn't have fucked her, though. That was a dick move, on so many levels. I can only blame my male needs, and being in a confined space with her when she's wearing clothes that show off her assets. I'm only human, aren't I?

I glance over at her as we walk along the road overlooking the beach where we spent last night. She is wearing a pair of jeans rather than shorts today, as the weather is cloudy and cooler, but her top is fitted and the breeze has made her nipples just visible through the fabric. Things like this don't help when I'm trying hard to forget what she feels like inside, and what she sounds like when she comes. I am angry with myself for not even trying to resist temptation last night, and I'm angry with her for being such a pushover. 

Her earlier questions have given me another knot of worry in my stomach that I really didn't need. I know I need to work out what I'm going to do, but it is much easier to push it to the back of my mind and let Chloe do the thinking. I may come across as hard and unfeeling, but I am absolutely terrified of going back to prison. I've done some shit in the past that I'm not proud of, and spending time inside has confirmed it is somewhere I do not want to be. The longer I run away from everything the worse it is going to be for me, but I just don't know what else to do at the moment. I keep hoping for a miracle solution, like Chris won't actually be dead or something, or I'll somehow get a message from Sofia with a plan all worked out for how to get me out of this impossible situation. 

But until either of these happen, or another solution presents itself, I will continue to trudge along from place to place, keeping my head down and relying on Chloe to keep us out of trouble. 

I haven't asked properly where we're heading next. She took the lead again this morning when we packed everything up, and apart from insisting we camp out again to keep out of sight of the police, I don't really care where we go. I think she wants to stay in this town, I guess because of her link to her parents, which I can sort of understand even if I can't relate. But I think we've stayed here long enough, and as soon as I get the opportunity to voice my concerns, I will. It's time to move on for both our sakes.