there's no good in goodbye (but neither there is in staying) || Descendants

there's no good in goodbye (but neither there is in staying)

When Carlos was first told he would be leaving the Island of the Lost, all he could feel was relief. He would be leaving that shit hole, the place he had called home for the past fourteen years. It had been his impossible dream since... well, forever.

'But what about mother?' oh, and there it was. The main reason he had always denied himself to dream. It didn't matter that there was no way out of the Island either way, Carlos was sure he would have find a way if he really wanted. But he hadn't, and that was because of her mother.

Cruella de Vil, true to her name, was a cruel woman. Every villain in the Island was, but Cruella had a special place among the top. One would think that, while having a fixation with making fur clothes out of dogs was a bit messed up, it wasn't anywhere near as bad as some of the things other villains had done.

But what those people didn't know about, were all the mental problems the fashion designer had since she was a child. Carlos on the contrary, did know, and that only made him more frightened. Who knew what she would do if she was really mad? Because no matter how bad she treated him, Carlos knew the times when she was really, really mad were little in comparison to her usual crazy outbursts. Like that one time she had mistaken him for Anita, for some reason. Now that had been a frightening experience.

The thing was, Carlos was pretty sure leaving her mother would made her go insane. Like, more than she already was.

Carlos knew Cruella kept him around because she wanted a servant, someone she could belittle and use whatever way she pleased. That's what his father had screamed at her during their last fight, just before she killed him in front of him in one of her dark phases, as he liked to call the times her mother went really batshit crazy.

And that was really the reason why he never attempted to leave. Yeah, he sometimes disappeared when he was hanging out with his friends - the teenage gang that ruled over the Isle of the Lost, but more importantly, his true family - and there were nights when he felt rebellious and decided to sleep with Evie, Jay or Mal. Sometimes even their secret hideout was a good option. But Carlos never truly left Hell Hall. How could he, honestly? Her mother would find him, and then she would be truly mad. Carlos didn't like it when she was mad, specially when that anger was directed at him - which happened quite frequently.

But now... now he had a choice to leave not only her mother's grasp, but the Isle of the Lost. He didn't know what was better.

And so when he had the chance, he ran before his mother could take it away. That was the second time he felt that thing books called freedom. The first time was when he first met the people who now were his family, and that had been so long ago he had forgotten how it felt.

"Are you alright?" Evie looked concerned, and Carlos made sure to school his face into a smug expression, his default for when he didn't want people to know what he was thinking about. It wasn't good for others to know how you felt in the Isle. He knew Evie would see straight through it, but she also knew that when the mask was directed at her, it was her queue to leave it be until later.

"'Course. Just wondering what Auradon is like. You know, how it really is, not just what that old TV lets us see." the lie came out as easy as breathing, which wasn't a surprise at all. Lying was a skill everyone in the Island had to learn rather sooner than later, because it could often decide whether you died or lived another day. Lying was what got you out of trouble when someone suspected you stole something from them. Lying was what had kept him alive, because even villains liked to see an innocent and cute face once in a while, whether because it made them feel like they weren't in the shit hole they lived in, or for much more darker reasons, none of them he cared to know about. And who was Carlos to tell them he was all but innocent, and that his mind would forever be tainted with the horrors he lived everyday inside Hell Hall?