Infectious (Ziall)

Aberration.

Dear self,

 

 

Guess how many cigarettes I've had between leaving my house this morning and making it to school? Three. That's quite the record for me; my school is only half an hour away. Things were awkward at breakfast this morning. For once, there wasn't an argument going on; just complete silence from beginning to end. Is it unfortunate to say that, that actually scares me more than the arguments; how them no longer voicing their opinions or feelings, good or bad, leads me to believe they're nearly at the brink of being completely over one another? They hold on to the hopes of things they don't dare say out loud; could be a prideful thing; but a bitten-tongue only leads one astray; on the other hand, Zayn only ever refuses to look at me. Nothing like torment from your own reflection; and maybe that's why Niall tip-toes around me as well; because I am the spitting image of his unfaithful lover. Kind of sad; and it's even sadder that I've gradually transitioned into calling my parents by their actual names. The line between family and a stranger have become quite blurred.

Sincerely,

Gone astray.

Malik Household.

[Tangled thread and stitches].

Niall lied awake, in the middle of the night, hidden under the duvet. He was shrouded within the room's darkness. It was one of the moments when everything was just too overwhelming; the perpetual anguish too much to bear. Matters were on the other foot, however. He was more-so upset with himself for even feeling a pang of need after Zayn kissed him. Then, there was that part of him that felt like he had not only kissed Zayn, but the lips of all of his late-night affairs. Even so, whether he hated his husband or not, Niall couldn't deny that the attraction was still there; that the want for lingering touches was still something he yearned for; that Zayn's presence would surely be enough. A simple solution, if Zayn hadn't made him feel so insecure and tampered with his self-esteem. Niall's eyes were shut, small mumbles of a song arising from his lips, airily. His fingers traced along his pillow, invisible patterns of his husband's name; carved in his heart. He was too lost in his thoughts to take notice of the door quietly opening, the silhouette of the raven-haired man somewhat apprehensively moving through the darkness; however, his presence didn't go amiss when Niall felt the evident movement upon the mattress.

Niall's body tensed, Zayn's presence triggering a sense of uneasiness; however, the blond's eyes remained tightly closed. He could feel the layers of the comforters being stripped away from his fragile body, and Zayn's cold presence sent a shiver through his veins - the raven-haired man timidly cuddling behind him. Niall could tell that his husband was just as uncomfortable, but maybe he was trying to overcome that; their skin not exactly touching, but the fabric of their clothes clinging to one another. Zayn's exhales of air tickled the back of Niall's neck, his pale hands grasping the sheet below him, pondering just exactly what was going on. With Zayn, things were never stable. One day he was on the border of just okay and, other days, he was completely out of his mind. It made things far too complex and made it harder for Niall to trust him. The raven-haired man's lips ghosted over the back of Niall's neck; contemplating; and then he pressed a chaste kiss on Niall's now warm skin, his hands gently latching on to Niall's bony hip. Niall held his breath, trying to contain any ounce of his dignity; always reminding himself that he deserved better. Zayn placed another kiss upon his neck, chap lips latching onto the rosy skin, and the remnants of his saliva and imprinted bite marks were visible. Niall snapped out of his discomfort, slightly moving his head away from the clutches of Zayn's teeth. "Z-Zayn, what are you doing?" He whispered through the night.

Zayn mumbled something incoherent, probably something along the lines of "miss you" if Niall had ever heard those words spoken before, and then commenced to sucking on Niall's neck some more. His hands grasped Niall's hips, pulling the blond closer towards him. A breathless gasp arose from Niall, though he was apprehensive about allowing anything to go further. He simply didn't feel right, knowing that Zayn, at one point, shared intimate moments with others, moments that were meant for him and Niall only. The blond couldn't help but feel grossed out, lightly pushing the raven-haired man away. "Zayn, stop," Niall whined; however, his protest was ignored, his husband still kissing every inch of his neck, lifting himself up until the weight of his body was atop of the blond. "Z-Zayn," Niall fought, voice trembling with fear because Zayn wouldn't budge, the older man too caught up in desperation. Niall couldn't smell alcohol, so it was quite odd. He felt his husband's hand latch onto his briefs, trying to tug them down. "Stop, Zayn, please." His tone reeked of fear, begging for the man to let him be.

"Ssh, it'll be fine," Zayn whispered against his lips, tightly holding the blond's hands down with one hand as he took hold of Niall's dick with the other. The build up of discomfort and anxiety was becoming too much for Niall, almost feeling as though he was suffocating; doing anything within his strength to push Zayn away from him; however, the raven-haired man wouldn't budge under his consent. Feeling desperate and afraid, the range of Niall's voice began to rise, yelling for Zayn to get off him, utilizing every inch of his body to hit and kick the man away. "Niall - Niall, stop!" Zayn warned, trying his hardest to hold the blond down.

"Get off! Get off!" Niall wailed.

"Get off him!" Chad exclaimed, barging through the door and charging towards the bed without a second thought. Things went by in a haste - Niall cowering away, though trying to be assertive in the sense that he didn't want the situation to escalate any further. Chad had lost all patience and finally tipped over, he and Zayn aggressively wrestling on the bed, punches being thrown, kicks, roughly clutching onto one another in a domineering sense, and even biting, until Chad was able to roughly push Zayn off the bed, causing the raven-haired man to stumble and fall against the bedroom door. "Get out and don't you ever come near my father again or I'll kill you!" Chad vociferated. Both parents were taken aback; however, Niall knew better than to ever put someone else before his son, despite that being Zayn's son as well. Zayn's chest heaved, exhaling loudly as he tried to catch his breath. He realized what he had done; it finally dawned on him. He left.

_

Author's Note: Bit intense; but things have to get worst before they get better, right? . . . Right? [nervously smiles before running].