Infectious (Ziall)

Sealed Hearts.

Dear self,

 

 

Sometimes I like to believe that I have everything all figured out, that things aren't as complex as they may seem; and then, I'm reeled back into my reality. Not just the reality of what's going on around me, but the reality that I'm just a small, drawn line on a much larger picture. With that being fully noted, I guess it's simple, yet obvious, when I admit that my head isn't always screwed on right. In other words, I had another cigarette, this morning in fact. Pretty irresponsible when you ditch breakfast for the risk of lung failure, but when the remedy is within reach - well. Seventeen years old and already familiar with such toxic. It was something that started two months ago. I overheard my parents arguing, arguing to the point that I was in tears and my hands were trembling with the anticipation to strangle my own papa. I love [Zayn] as much as I love [Niall]. He's apart of the reason I'm alive today; however, his domineering mannerisms and the way he lashes out have led me with no choice but to gravitate more towards my other parent. Niall is fragile and the drop of a quarter could pierce his ears to the point of blood being shed from the drum itself. I guess I've taken on a protective role. Pretty pathetic, considering I'm actually scared of Zayn. That is the reason I've resorted to cigarettes, to ease me when I'm distraught or afraid. And then, there's Harry...

Harry's Home

[When options become narrow; and life is treacherous].

Chad wanted nothing more than a lecture, a sermon that would not only ease his mind, but serve as insightful; however, he wasn't expecting Harry Styles to open the door, nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist and damp, long lair that left a trail of water on the wooden floor beneath his feet. Chad lost all sight of logic, allowing the curly-haired boy to aggressively push him against the wall, lips roughly pressed against one another; hands groping every inch of each other's bodies. Maybe the vulnerable aspect of allowing his body to be utilized for another's pleasure, as a way of masking his turmoil, wasn't the best way to go about things; however, every deep thrust only numbed his ability to think clearly. He moaned, fingers clawing at the skin on Harry's back, leaving scratches; skin red and irritated. Harry nipped at the younger boy's neck, small bites where his skin was once bare. He wore a complacent smile; another boost in his ego as the younger boy lewdly referred to him as daddy.

Malik Household

[Where alcoholic thoughts keep the sober awake].

Niall found himself shrouded within the darkness, seated at the islander in the kitchen. The moon's light illuminated on half of his face, eyes still as rosy as they were when he woke up. And he was contemplating life and his choices; his rights; his wrongs; his morals; his beliefs; his inability to be a stronger person when he really needed to be. Prayer in the middle of the night was always the first thing he turned to, wanting to believe that his hopes were being heard and on the verge of being answered; that something was on the verge of being mended; however, he was always left with more conflicts than he had before. He wasn't sure where things went wrong with Zayn, or why, for pondering sake. He forgave the raven-haired man for the cheating, he forgave him for the lies and his deceitful actions, and he forgave Zayn for making him feel so small and worthless. For some reason, that wasn't enough. Everything Zayn did to him remained etched within the back of his mind, until it started to surface and showed in Niall's actions. He pushed Zayn away, not wanting the man to touch him or kiss him, or love him.

"Are you coming to bed?" The husky voice spoke through the darkness, reeling Niall out of his thoughts. Zayn stood near the kitchen's entrance, arms crossed over his chest, while his body slightly leaned to the right; unbalanced. He was drunk again. Niall could tell. 

Without uttering a word, Niall shook his head. Another night spent separately instead.

_

Author's Note: I know it's starting off a little vague, but with each chapter to come, I will dive more into each character, their problems, etc.; and, of course, there will be lengthier Ziall moments. If anyone read my Larry story, 'Charlie,' this story will be written in the same style, just a different storyline of course. I hope you all enjoyed! :-)