Phantom Thunder

Chapter 7

I waited until the rush for the showers had died down slightly before I trotted down the hall and pushed the door open with my toe. Lilian sat on the counter, leaning towards the mirror. The space between her nose and her reflection was nearly non existence. She was applying mascara with careful focus.

"You know" she said, not turning to face me. "The other girls are going to think your avoiding them."

I looked down at my bare feet on the cold tiled floor. I couldn't admit to Lilian that I was. That in some way I was terrified by all the other girls. So many people. People had never done anything for me.

"I'm not good with the whole friends thing." They seamed so distant. Like they were from another world. I didn't belong in that world.

Lilian jumped down from the counter. She wore a black dress and it's skirt shifted around her knees as she landed. She wore the same combat boots that she'd trained in. She placed her mascara down on the counter and put both her hands on my shoulders. Her pupils held mine. She'd only completed one eye, but she didn't need mascara. Her eyes were strong, bright and gentle even without the make up.

"We've all been through this" she said. "We all arrived at this academy with one lesson drilled into our heads: no one can be trusted. This place is a safe haven. A home. The people here know what it's like to be stabbed in the back, to be forgotten, to feel worthless. They aren't going to do that to someone else. Especially not to someone who knows the feeling. Especially not to another silver blood. Especially not to family.

"You see, it wouldn't be trust if you knew it wouldn't shatter. People don't trust gravity, they know it will keep them on the earth. It's not trust if it isn't some sort of risk. And maybe the branch breaks, maybe it hurts, but you just get up, slap 'em, hard, then move on. Locking yourself in that little box you're hiding in isn't going to get you through life."

"The deep lecture from Lilian." I forced myself to grin jokingly. I couldn't show her how deep she'd really hit.

She cracked a smile, and her hands dropped from my shoulders. "I should be a poet."

"It's worth a go, you know, in your spare time, write meaningful stuff."
She winked. "Maybe a will."

She hopped back up onto the counter and began doing her other eye. I stepped into the shower and locked the door. I heard Lilian leave. I closed my eyes and let the water trickle down my skin. The warmth was soothing on my tired body. I let out the stale air in my lungs, and with it all the emotion I was keeping inside. I gave myself until I turned the water off to compose myself.

-

I changed into jeans and a t-shirt before heading back to the dorm. My long black hair was a wet mop hanging down my back. I didn't bother to brush it.

A bunch of girls were sitting in a large circle playing cards. Lilian beckoned for me to come join, but I shook my head. She made a face and me, then went back to the game.

I watched from my bed, trying to figure out the rules of the game. I watched for consistent patterns, the way the cards were played, and who won what. I'd never played cards. I'd never had anyone to play cards with. And it's not like all us runaways got together and gambled every Friday night.

They played until dinner, laughing and joking. One girl cleaned up all the cards and put them back in the shelf. They flaked off in little groups all heading down to the banquet hall. Lilian was chatting with a girl I recognized as Jessica, who'd introduced herself this morning. Lilian waved at me and beckoned. I rolled off my bed and fell into step next to her.

As we passed the boys dorm, someone stuck out their foot to trip Lilian. Suddenly Blake was next to her, and she was punching him playfully.
When we were about to turn into the banquet hall, I hesitated. "I'll be right back" I told Lilian. She nodded, but barely glanced away from Blake for a split second.