SKINNY | ATEEZ WOOYOUNG

six

wooyoung's rumbling stomach only heightened his senses. keeping him dangerously aware of how much food he's been consuming. and how to get rid of it.

as the blonde-haired boy steps foot inside his dorm room which he shared with his band member san, he made his way inside the bathroom.

wooyoung stripped himself of all his clothes and pulled out a scale from underneath the cabinets, which he shared with his roommate that stored his hygiene products and his secret pill stash.

wooyoung looked at himself. all bare, merely skin and bones. to anyone it would seem as though the boy was malnourished and needed to pork up a little, but to wooyoung, he was fat. obese and chubby. no one loved him and he wasn't desirable at all. and that was something that an idol needed, it was key to becoming popular and charismatic. but wooyoung couldn't be hot and sexy if he was a fat pig.

so wooyoung stepped onto the scales, after waiting for the numbers to flash four zeros.

47.6kg it read.

shit. i gained a whole kilogram. he's not gonna be happy with me, i'm so fa-

but before he could finish his thought, another voice appeared. it sounded calm, monotonous and yet so terrifying.

wooyoung, you gained and you know what that means.

wooyoung's hands started shaking as he kept looking down at the scale, hoping for the numbers to decrease, to just disappear.

i know, i'm so sorry. i'll get rid of my fat now.

before wooyoung could think anything else, he proceeded to open the toilet bowl's lid, as if it were reflex and he began to lean over the lifted seat. tears began gushing down the boy's face. he knew this wasn't normal. he knew he was unhealthy but he couldn't stop himself from feeling and looking fat. other people would tell him he needed to eat but wooyoung couldn't understand why.

it's because they're all so perfect. they don't need to lose weight. they all see me as a gross human being.

these thoughts would always run through his damaged mind and were his drive to becoming skinny.

so without a second thought, wooyoung shoved three of his delicate, skeleton-like fingers down his throat and began to feel that sickening yet so so satisfying feeling begin to rise in his mouth. as the bile built up in his throat, wooyoung vomited into the toilet bowl while hot tears streaked down his sunken cheekbones. the sour aftertaste lingering in his burning mouth and coating his teeth and tongue.

wooyoung's stomach finally felt light and empty but there was something else tingling at his brain. he felt sad. the pain he was feeling was indescribable but wooyoung knew exactly why he was feeling so numb and empty.

it was his depression. it always got the best of him and made him think extremely drastically.

his only outlet was dancing. that's why he became an idol, but ever since that evil voice told him to stop eating, his energy levels dropped and his passion for dancing almost vanished into thin air. but he wouldn't let any of his precious members find out. he had to keep them happy because they were all so perfect and untainted unlike himself.

wooyoung's thoughts became dark and fogged. his heart began to feel suffocated and it felt as though his arms were being squeezed into oblivion. the only way wooyoung knew how to relieve his pain was by using his sharp, silver friend he kept inside his cabinet.

wooyoung was broken, he was beyond repair and he just wanted someone to save him.

but he so badly wanted to be skinny.