a story about me (and you)

the eleventh

to him,

i had a dream about you last night.

that was the closest i had ever been to you in such a long time.

it made me remember us.

did 'us' ever even happen? i don't know.

but i remember.

i remember how you'd always tell me not to stay up too late. i remember the way i'd sigh, pretending that i didn't like you fussing over me.

(i did)

(( i really did ))

i watched as the amount of my all-nighters began to decrease, how i started sleeping at eleven again.

i was happy.

all those conversations where i'd call you "mom" playfully and you'd roll your eyes at me, how we would stay up talking about nothing.

those memories have now become my most treasured ones.

because of you, i started sleeping properly again, i started doing my work and saw my grades slowly improve.

because of you, i was clean, for longer than i had ever been. maybe i took you for granted, maybe i didn't show you enough appreciation for everything you did for me, how you cared for me and always made sure i was okay.

now, you are nothing but a distant memory, far away from my grasp. as we pass each other in the corridors, the memories of our late night phone calls flash through my mind, but all you see is a stranger with tired eyes from staying up all night.

now, instead of staying up talking to you, i stay up reading through our old chat logs, wondering what happened to us.

we were happy, weren't we?

how does someone so dear to you suddenly become nothing but a person from your past?

with love,

c