Welcome to Dukesberry Part 2

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Meanwhile -

The Canadian man from before was walking out onto the street, wobbling and giggling.

Narrator: His name is Duncan Nelson. People might know him from the hit animated reality show, Total Drama. After the show's fifth season --- well, I think I'll save his story for a little later. In the meantime, all you need to know is that Duncan is the world-class most douchy jerk that anyone ever met. And he is about to get a big wake up call of his life.

Two police officers in a nearby car saw Duncan wobbling across the street towards a red broken down car.

Duncan searched through his pocket for the car keys before the two officers approached him.

Duncan searched through his pocket for the car keys before the two officers approached him

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???: Hey there, Duncan

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???: Hey there, Duncan. How are you doing?

Duncan: (sleepily) Hello, there Mr. Wiggum, Mr.Swanson.

Swanson: You're not planning to drive home tonight are you Nelson? You seem a little hammered to be driving.

Duncan waves his hands sluggishly.

Duncan: Of course not, Mr. Swanson. I'm just here to say goodnight to my car and come back for it tomorrow.

Duncan starts hugging his car, kissing it, and caressing it in his arms.

Swanson stared in disgust, while Wiggum looked horrified.

Duncan: Listen, sweetheart, I need to leave you here tonight. But don't you worry, I'll come back for you first thing tomorrow morning.

Duncan patted his car.

Duncan: Now behave yourself, and don't stay up too late.

Duncan walked away while waving towards his car.

Duncan: Nightie, night.

Duncan turned around and walked back to his car.

Duncan: Alright cutie pie, but let's make this quick.

The police officers stared in horror at what they saw next.

Duncan: (moaning) Oh mama, you like it when I hold you like this? Cause I'll do it all night long.

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