angela

forty one

today. my first presentation. i felt like i would die. my anxiety was crushing me inside even more now. i'm excited, really excited, this wasn't my dream, but i felt like it really was right now. but at the same time, i am nervous. i practiced so much for this, worked my ass off, i need this to be perfect, i need at least one thing to go right in my life. the only thing that is making me sad, is the fact that i knew my family couldn't come today. it's friday, and they have to work on saturday. since there was four shows left, they were coming for the next one. i was now just hoping that my friends would at least be there. i basically bought tickets for everyone for them to come see me, they weren't going to do this to me.

after i ate lunch, carina called me and i answered it, she and brandon appearing in my screen with bright smiles on their faces. "hey, guys." i chuckled.

"if it isn't our little star!" carina exclaimed. "brandon, go get that champagne inside the fridge." she pushed his shoulder, making him stand up. 

he really brought the bottle, opening the cap. "guys... stop, you don't have to..." i got cut out by brandon popping the bottle, him and carina cheering. 

"we're drinking for you, baby!" brandon screamed, taking a large sip. 

i laughed, shaking my head. "i wish you two were here."

"aw, we wanted to be there for you, sis." carina pouted. "but your friends will be there for you, don't worry, david will probably bring you a giant bouquet."

yeah, i didn't tell my siblings about our break up. i just couldn't, i don't know why, because i told my mom, but not them. "uh, sure." i forced a smile.

we stayed talking for a few minutes more until they had to hang up, me being left alone to handle my own anxiety. i slept for the rest of the day, setting an alarm by the time i had to wake up to get ready. and so i did. i took a nice shower, did my hair and chose a comfortable and classy outfit to wear. 

it all happened kinda fast after that, but it was amazing. the presentation went smoothly, everyone in sync, me taking deep breaths throughout the whole thing. i was nervous at first, but this was my thing, i prepared myself for months for this, and i did it, i played in front of thousands of people. i overcame my biggest fear doing what i truly loved, i felt like i was made for this.

after the show, we all went backstage, waiting for everyone's friends and families. the room was flooded with people, but none of them were my friends. they didn't come. not even matt. i knew zac wasn't coming because he had a few problems at work, and carly and erin had stuff to do. but matt? the guy that was supposed to be by my side wasn't here. and everyone that i bought tickets to see me? they didn't care enough about me to even send me a text.

and david wasn't here either. i didn't go to his big night either, but i don't know, i was hoping he would come see me. but i was wrong, oh, so wrong.

no one did. i could feel my heart crushing inside my chest, if it was even possible after everything that happened these past few weeks. i grabbed my phone to see if there was any texts, but there was none. i stood there awkwardly, not knowing if i should just leave without saying anything to anyone. however, someone stopped in front of me, making me look up just to find that guy from the bar that i went months ago. "i must say, the lacks of skill you have in drinking, you have in playing piano." he commented, chuckling while he held a bouquet with one hand. 

i smiled. "hey... what are you doing here? not following me, right?" i joked.

"of course not! my son also plays here!" he pointed to mitch, the guy who plays the cello. "playing has always been a passion of his." i watched as a middle-aged woman kissed his cheek with a big smile on her face, probably his mom.