Nervous

am i dealing with a breakup or a breakdown?

If I wasn't thin and white with blue hair, would I be here?

Awsten walked down the bustling street to his house. When he opened the front door, he saw his girlfriend, Ciara, kissing another man. "Ciara..?" he asked, hurt and questioning.

Ciara looked up, gasped, and said, "Oh, Awsten, honey, it's nothing you need to worry

about. Jonathan, could you leave us alone for a second? We need to talk."

Wide-eyed and flushed, Jonathan nodded, rushing out of the room. "Ciara, why were you kissing him? If you don't want to be with me anymore, that's- that's okay. I completely

understand. Actually, don't bother answering that. I can tell you'd rather be with Jonathan. Ciara, I-I'm breaking up with you," Awsten choked out. "I'll just... go get my stuff, and leave." He stumbled out of the room, off to go pack. Half an hour later, he walked back into the room, carrying his bags. He left the apartment with nary a second glance. This wasn't how he imagined his day going, not at all. He walked back down the street, this time to his friends, Otto and Geoff's place. They lived together, they were like brothers. Awsten had chosen to live with his (ex) girlfriend instead. Once he arrived, the mom friend of the group, Otto, welcomed him with a smile which fell off his face as he saw Awsten's teary eyes.

̈Awsten! Are you alright? What happened? Come in, make yourself comfortable. Then you can tell me everything," he soothed, beckoning him inside with a wave of his hand. Awsten

nodded, gratefully. He sat down on the couch as Otto settled beside him.

"Where do I start?" he laughed bitterly. "I walked in on Ciara kissing some guy, Jonathan. Then she has the audacity to tell me not to worry about it. I'm sorry," Awsten apologised. "I'm sure you don't want to hear me whine about my problems. I'll be back in a few, I'm going for a walk." He stood up and disappeared out the door.

A couple minutes of aimless wandering later, he found himself in front of the public library. As soon as he opened the door, though, he heard a familiar voice. One he'd hoped not to hear for a while. "So, I'll just plant a bomb here, that'll demolish a fair chunk of town. Yes, yes, perfect! It'll only kill a few people, but that's a few people closer to saving the world!" Ciara. Awsten gulped, eyes threatening to spill over. He raced out of the library, back to his friends' house. This time, when he pounded on the door, Geoff answered.

"Otto told me what happened, wait, are you crying? C'mon, in you go," he told Awsten, as he nudged the blue-haired boy inside.

Anxiety is real, depression's very heavy

I wear them both inside my hoodie, wear them out to get me

Awsten fiddled with the strings of his hoodie, until Otto spoke up. "So?"

"It's just so hard!" Awsten wailed. "She knows I have anxiety, she knows about my depression! Why would she do this to me?" He buried his face in his hands. "Will you let me stay here for a while?"

"Of course!" Otto and Geoff exclaimed in unison. "Take all the time you need."

Soon, the crying ceased, and Awsten wiped his eyes. "Ciara was at the library," he began, retelling what he had heard her whispering about. When he finished, he added, "I should go andstop her. No, I need to stop her! Come with me? Moral support, y'know?" The three boys walked out the door, off to the park where Ciara planned to plant the bomb. They arrived just as she was putting down the explosives. "Ciara! Don't do that! You can't blow up the city!" Awsten ran up to her, and seized the bomb. As he ran away, though, he collapsed right in front of the other men.

"Awsten?" Geoff touched his shoulder gently. As he did so, they heard a quiet sob come from the body on the ground. "Hey, hey, it's alright, deep breaths. Okay? In, and out, in, and out, there! You've got it!" He encouraged him. After a minute or so, Awsten sat up.

"Is she gone?" he asked in a breathy whisper. "I need a moment to calm down."

"One second," Otto held up his finger to quiet the boy. He scanned the park. "Don't worry, she's gone. You alright?"

Awsten sniffed dejectedly. "Yeah. Wait, where'd she go? I need to stop her! I don't want to, but I have to! It's for the good of the people!"

At this, Geoff spoke up. "Are you sure? You have to preserve your mental health, don't... don't worry about the others for now."

"No! I have to help! Geoff, you don't understand!" He got up and chased after the woman who was running away. "Most likely to go get another bomb," Awsten thought. When he reached her, she turned around and punched him.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! Are you alright? I didn't mean to, i-it was just reflexes, I promise! I-" Ciara apologised profusely. At this, Awsten yelped and stumbled away toward Otto and Geoff.

"I can't do this!" he whimpered. "I-I just can't!"

"Hey...hey..." Otto crooned. "It's alright, okay? You're alright." He rubbed the other's back calmingly. "You can do whatever you want, once you're ready."

Awsten sighed. "Yeah, I guess so, but I just wish none of this happened in the first place."

Geoff nodded. "Same here. You don't deserve anything she's done to you." The three boys sat in silence for a moment longer, until Awsten got to his feet.

"I think I'm ready to go. I'm gonna try to get her arrested for her crimes." He jogged off.

"Awsten! What are you doing?" she asked nervously, when he reached her.

"Arresting you," Awsten replied, dialing 911.

Soon, the police pulled up. "You're under arrest for attempted bombing and manslaughter."

You've got me nervous to speak

So I just won't say anything at all

I've got an urge to release

And you keep tellin' me to hold on

You've got me nervous to move

So I just won't give anything to you

You got me turnin' all around to be who you need me to