I'll save you always

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The music doesn't necessarily add to the atmosphere or anything , but it's just kinda relaxin' you know ?

This has got triggers and I do NOT recommend you read on if you're sensitive to triggering things such as suicide and self harm.

I walked down the school corridors, trying not to engage in eye contact with anyone. I was too easy to read.

I felt my cheeks lift into fake smiles by reflex, and forcing out fake laughs at stupid jokes that I might have thought were funny if my sense of humor hadn't fizzled out ages ago.

I finally made it into my empty dormitory and lie on my bed. The only way to escape reality , even if it was only for a second , was to sleep.

To dream.

To live in a different world for just a bit. A world where things were different and life was great. A world of the past that was never to come again. Trampled and flat for good.

I rolled up my sleeve to where the dark mark so menacingly embellished my skin. The malignity of the searing tattoo. A mark so damaging that it could barely be uttered about. The mark on my very skin.

I woke up to an urge to hack at my skin , to tear myself apart and show my body and myself that I hated it. Crabbe and Goyle weren't there. Weren't present to witness the insides of me force out. The person behind the prince persona. Draco.

I grabbed my knife that was always handy in my pocket. It was neat , too. It opened and closed and was small. So small I could even fit it into the breast pocket of my school shirt. But despite it's size it was a sharp blade. So pleasurably sharp that it tore right through my skin , like skipping straight to the good part.

I put my arm over the sink and put the knife to the dark mark. Scars already lined it , but the black ink just covered the scars back up , always completing the malignant shape. A bead of blood already sprouted from my skin before I even sliced.

I then pushed and pulled it across. I sucked air through my teeth and grinned as the blood spilled into the sink. I sliced again. Jabbed , poked.

My shirt was soaked through with blood, and my arm was more red than pale. The drain gargled , sucking the blood down the drain. I looked at myself. The self - abusive mess of a boy . I was but a shell of a boy. I didn't even think of myself as a human. How could I with the things I did to my own body.

Tears flowed from my eyes as I thought of all the things I'd lost. My sanity , happiness ... any chance of love.

Potter

" gah!" I exclaimed at the thought. My heart pumped faster at the very though of him as I blushed and more blood started spewing from my wounds.

And to my horror , a knock sounded at my door. I shakily walked to it , but I'd lost so much blood things seemed hazy and dizzy. I hiccuped at the thought of what I'd done to myself. I just barley grabbed the knob and weakly asked " who's there ." " Harry- Harry Potter." I felt the urge to vomit. " Yes? What is it that you need?" I asked , trying to sound menacing , but I was sure it sounded more tired that angry. " I - is something wrong?" Harry asked quickly, realizing what no one else did . " Draco-" " Potter! What has gotten into you?" I asked , trying to sound as if nothing was wrong and that he was crazy. " Draco! Open the door ." I weakly turned the handle .

I could barely stand on my own two feet . More tears poured down my face at the sight of the horrified face Harry had when seeing my state. " Draco-I.." he rushed up to me and I tried to stay steady but gave out.

Harry caught me before I felt onto the floor and cradled me close to him. I could hear his heart beating quickly. His chest felt warm against my face. " Harry-" " don't speak." Harry whispered. " Can I see?" Harry asked.

I looked horrible . I was scarred and ugly and pale. What was he even doing here in the first place? I had everything to hide. But yet , I nodded. He gently unbuttoned my shirt from the collar down. It was soaked through with blood and I was wondering how he could touch it. I blushed as Harry pushed both sides of my shirt down and saw my bruised and scarred stomach.

There were old scars and new scars and scratches everywhere. Bruises lined my sides from clutching them so hard and they dotted my chest. I was truly a mess and wanted to pull my shirt over all of it again . Harry then put his palm flat over my stomach. His touch felt hot and caused me to breath a bit faster. He lined his fingers over every one of my flawed wounds. He then got to the new ones and a cried out in pain.

Though his touch was pleasurable , the cuts still hurt when there was contact. " Sorry." He said softly. He shushed me before I could reply. " Hermoine tried to teach me this spell once." Harry said , taking out his wand. I closed my eyes.

Black .

I woke up not on the floor anymore, but in my bed. I was covered by my blanket. I looked around but couldn't see Harry anywhere. " Harry?" I tried to call out , but it was but a ragged whisper. I pulled down the cover to see all my wounds were now closed scars and looked at my wrists to see them in the same condition.

Daylight no longer streamed through the windows. Maybe Harry went back to his dorms to go to sleep. I pulled the covers back up to my chin and fell back to sleep.

I woke up and a bowl of noodle soup was on my side table and I felt weight on my bed , pressing on my ankle. I looked up and saw Harry's messy locks gleaming in the moonlight. He was sitting on the side of my bed and looking at the moon. I let my eyelids fall again, but not close all the way.

The weight then lifted off of my bed . I thought Harry would leave , but he kneeled in beside me , him not even 3 inches from my face. He caressed my cheek." Why would you hurt yourself when you're so beautiful? Your lovely pale skin complementing your sharp angles , contrasted by you're rosy cheeks.... How would I behave if I was as beautiful as you?" His words struck me . They felt unfamiliar, but pleasurable. Surprising.

" You really think that?" I muttered. Harry jumped back , startled. " I...um.. are you hungry?" He asked. I smiled and shook my head. He moved a piece of hair from my forehead that I didn't even realize was sweaty, then kissed it. I gasped at the sudden contact and my whole face grew hot. " Do you feel better?" Harry asked me. I nodded. " Thank you." I said. I never thought I would say thank you to Harry Potter.

" It's no problem ... at all. I enjoyed being here with you. I'm glad I'm able to..." he said , sounding as if he'd say more but trailed off. " What do you mean?" I asked. His eyes bore into mine. " You would've killed yourself , Draco. Thank Merlin you didn't." " Why would you have cared?" For the first time ever , it seemed , someone was actually having emotion toward me. It felt... like I meant something to someone. Like I was worthy of something.

He smiled , his lips ever so slightly parted. And that said it all somehow. I knew exactly what he was saying , through that simple smile... and it made me just want to-

I sat up and touched my lips to his. Softly at first , hesitant. I let our breaths mingle for a second , looking into his eyes , before he closed the small gap between our lips . His lips against mine felt warm... warm in so many different ways ... hot.

It made me think that maybe, just maybe I wanted to be alive. For the small pleasures such as this one. I pulled away , exhilarated at what I'd just done. I looked into his green pond eyes. He cheeks were beet red and his lips plush.

He almost made me forget what a burden life was .

Looaadddss have happened in the past I don't know how longs I've been gone!! I know you've forgotten abt me and that's fine 😂. But I just hope you enjoy this looonnngg delayed Drarry.

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