Poems

I Was Beautiful

I wish i was beautiful
Ive always wished this
I wish i was accepted
I wish i was allowed to be me
I wish i was the scars apon my legs would make me proud
Make me love everything ive been through
Make me love my past
The only person who has ever made me think i was beautiful was you
You always told me i was the light in your world
Told me i was a habbit in the morning and night
I dont want to be a habbit
I want to be your love
I want to be your life
I want to be youre second half
I dont want to be a habbit
Habbits can be bad
Waking up to text someone shouldn't be a habbit
Waking up to text someone should be because you couldn't sleep because i was all you thought of
Because you miss me
Because you only wanted to hold me but you couldnt so you try and make my day
Waking up to a text will only make me happy
Saying you never want to do it hurts
The way he hurt me
Was so deep, painful, long
Everytime you told me dont sleep ill call till you fall asleep ill keep you company so you sleep better
But what ended up happening
Was me texting you
Asking when are we gonna talk
When are we going to call
When can we sleep
When can i tell you i love you and hear you say it back
The only person who has made me feel beautiful was you
The one who ended up making me leave more scars apon my legs
The scars you told me to hide
That they were gross
The only gross thing is
That i believe i wasnt beautiful by your side
I was never beautiful by your side
By your side is me covered trying to hide that im scared of you that youll yell at me or hurt me
By your side im not allowed to look up
I look up youll think im hitting on other guys
By your side i want nothing more than to curl up in a ball on the sidewalk and be invisible
By your side
BY YOUR SIDE I WAS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL
I SHOULDVE PUSHED YOU AWAY FROM MY SIDE
BY YOUR SIDE IM NOT ALLOWED TO BE HERE
OR ME
By his side
He smiles
And looks at me
Falling in love
Melting into putty next to me
Making me feel strong
I can look up
And realize you were the ugly one
Not on the outside
On the inside
By his side
In his eyes
Hand in hand
I am
Beautiful

My mindstate in this poem. So imagine you just bought a bomb ass outfit you feel great. And someone says something negative about it. But then you look in the mirror and your just like nah im hot. Thats kinda how i was with my body getting out of the relationship with my ex. He would always bash my body and mind but i wasnt the ugly part the ugly part was his imput.