Stylist (book 1) - H.S

Chapter 29: Euphoria.

I went to Anthony's room after I convinced the front desk that I was his girlfriend and simply lost my key. I texted Harry telling him I was going out with some old friends and wouldn't be back till late, and that was the last time I really spoke to him.

We've been in the same hotel room, but my job of putting space between us has been working, trying my best to do this as soft as I can, that way no one is hurt, but it's hurting me. This hurts. I don't want this, I don't want to forget him but I know that this pain is small compared to what I would feel at the end of the tour.

We sleep with our backs turned every night, it's like we don't even know each other, and the problem I'm facing is that he hasn't said a word about it. I've tried to put this space between us before, I tried to push him away earlier on and he only pushed back harder, he questions me, he convinces me, and I guess it's good that he hasn't this time, but at the same time I wonder why?

It's been eleven days since we were in Atlanta, eleven days of space, and I guess this is how it will feel when the tour is over, considering I'm back in New York, back in my apartment. Harry is supposed to stay here tonight, he was excited to from what I know, from the small words we exchanged about it. I'm dying to ask him about his distance as well, wondering what's going on with him, but I know it would be selfish to do so, I know it wouldn't be right because this is what I wanted. We all start walking from the bus, and I carry my things, moving quickly to the side of the street to get a cab to go straight to my apartment, and I feel a tap on my shoulder.

"When is your doctor's appointment?" I see him ask, holding his bag, and a suitcase handle.

"You're not coming... I'd rather just.. Go alone." I tell him, laying another brick to the wall in between us, and I see his face change.

"I thought you wanted... Why?" He asks, and I shrug.

"It's normally something I do alone, it's not a big deal, I'll send you my address later tonight." I tell him, and he opens his mouth to talk.

"I- okay El, I'll see you." He sounds defeated and I want to stop him. I want to stop him, and hug him, and apologize for every second of this but I don't. I just watch him walk away as I get into a cab, and head for my apartment.

As soon as I get to the empty space, knowing my roommate is gone yet again, I throw my things down, and I'm off again, going straight to the doctor. Once I'm there I go straight up to the normal floor, signing my name on the check in form. After a little bit of waiting I'm brought back, and sat in the same chair, my doctor coming up.

"Hey El, been a while, how were the doctors abroad?" She asks, getting everything ready for me.

"Not half as good as you, but I've been alright." I tell her, and she nods her head.

"Glad to hear it, do you need any refills on that medication yet or are you doing alright?" She asks me, and I shake my head.

"Nope, all good on medication but I did want to talk to you about something... I was offered a job, but it's in Milan, and I took it... So I'll be switching my medical records over there, and this is going to be my last visit with all of you guys." I tell her, and she puts her hand over her chest.

"I'm so happy for you, but we're gonna miss your face around here El. I'll get some paperwork, and we'll fill it out whenever you're done alright?" She asks, hooking me up for my transfusion. I sit, going through the long hours like usual, dozing in and out of sleep during the process, and passing the time in any way that I can.

After I take a few minutes I stand up, and fill out the said paperwork. I say goodbye to all my favorite nurses, and people here. I don't feel too great. I actually don't feel good at all. I know it's a mix of all the stress along with the medications and constant moving around, it's a lot for my body to take, and I'm surprised I haven't gotten ridiculously sick yet.