2014 Raphael x O.C.
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O.C. POV
I feel like crap. I have never felt so awful before.
I desperately fight the urge to snatch an entire box of pizza from the boys and scarf it down in two seconds. I haven't eaten pizza in weeks...who am I kidding? I haven't eaten anything other than salads, fruits and grilled fish for two months. Hell, I even cut out everything to drink except water and milk.
It's part of my effort to lose weight, because despite all my training and exercising I still can't seem to get it off. So, as well as increase my exercise, I've been cutting out all the food I usually ate hoping that maybe then I can achieve a leaner figure.
It isn't working, well in the size department anyway. I'm always tired and feel drained, my body feels sore almost all the time, and recently I have been getting really bad headaches that even aspirin can't seem to get rid of, headaches that keep me awake. I am miserable, and I've barely lost any weight.
It's not like I'm hugely obese, but I'm still not skinny like April is. I'm a little thicker in the arms, the hips and thighs, and especially in the waist. It's mostly muscle of course, but only the people who know I train in Kung fu knows that. To everyone else I'm just 'that chubby girl'.
I hide a wince of pain as the throb in my head flares again. Hoping it will pass, I close my eyes.
"Hey Kaz? You okay? Aren't you going to eat?" Mikey's voice echoes in my head, slightly intensifying my headache. I open my eyes and shake my head.
"No thanks, I'm not hungry." I lie through my teeth, hoping it sounds honest. My voice sounds drained.
"Are you alright?" Donnie asks curiously, noting how off I sound.
I nod, another lie.
"Just a bad headache, that's all." I respond, finally answering truthfully.
I get up from the counter, walking towards the dojo while rubbing my temples.
"I'm just gonna meditate, see if that helps." I tell Splinter and the boys, not looking back or noticing the most worried face belonged to Raphael, or Red as I call him.
I close the door behind me after I enter, the smell of sweat and incense filling my nose as I take a match and light the lavender scented incense reserved for my meditation before I half collapse to the floor, sitting cross legged. The smell of lavender helps my pain, but not completely. The throbbing stills occurs every couple of minutes, and the ringing in my ears is still high pitched.
I would do anything to have a donut right now. A chocolate glazed, creme filled donut with peanut butter sprinkles would be the bomb. I shake the thought out of my head before I start drooling, that is the last thing I need right now...but my god I want it, hell I'd just about kill for one.
Of all the foods I cut out of my diet, those are my biggest weakness...one I keep well hidden. The last thing I need is for the guys to find out that the badass martial artist who can kick their butts around the dojo could become weak-kneed and bribed with a box of donuts, especially Mikey.
I sigh in resignation as I remind myself why I'm doing this. To improve my figure, become stronger, and...impress Red. I have had a crush on the hot head for almost six months now, starting back to when we first met. After the initial distance, we eventually got closer...sparring together, going on patrol, and recently letting me help with his bike. He was surprised that I know how, I'm a martial artist, and a tattoo artist, but he never thought I was a mechanic.
