I decided to start putting my journal entries online. Because why not? Anyway, lately I've been feeling just okay. Like, I'm not sad or happy. I'm just in the middle. It's so weird how no one really talks about feeling in between. I feel like everyone always expects someone to be happy or sad. But I'm not feeling either of those. I'm not feeling angry, depressed, excited, sick, etc. I'm just not.
I've been thinking a lot about never really having a girlfriend. Every time I start talking to someone it never lasts. Everyone keeps saying I'm supposed to take initiative and keep trying. But if whoever I'm talking to stops talking to me too then I guess nothing was ever really there. If you like someone, you talk to them. If you don't, you don't. It's always been if we were both into each other talking was so natural. We didn't have to talk constantly or even every single day. But when we did talk, it was all there. Now everyone's telling me to talk everyday and always respond to a message. And blah blah blah. Granted my past relationships, if you can even call them that, were short lived and usually secret relationships, they were so much easier to talk to and didn't require all this extra stuff. Since when did this stuff require so much work?
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