One Temptation (ManxMan)

Heartache

Xavier

I watch Ren fall and time ticks in slow motion. All of my muscles surge at once as I jump out of bed. Ren is laying, unmoving, on the floor. My heart jumps to my throat as I flip him onto his back. With one hand I touch his throat and cold dread runs through me as no heart beat responds back. I can't breathe and tears are brimming in my eyes.

I whimper, "Ren..."

Quickly I force myself into action, recalling my past. Flashes of memories stick in my mind. As I see Ren laying in his bedroom, I see Jackson laying on the bathroom floor. Just as I did before, I snag a cellphone and dial 911. While placing the call on speaker, I place my hands on Ren's chest.

Tears flow from my eyes and I can't see, but I know the feeling under my hands. Pushing his breastbone in at a steady pace. I am speaking the same words over the phone as I did before. Please, Ren, don't leave me. Images of my brother turning blue burn in my mind. Through my head, I count the beats over and over, keeping the rhythm. My brain reminds me of my sisters screams as she cried for help. 

Ren's skin has already become discolored, but I don't lose pace. I know by know his ribs have cracked, but that's better than him dying. My body is tired and I'm in pain, but I don't stop. Each compression is another second he has a chance. Jackson lived and so can Ren. I'm not giving up. I hear the sirens growing closer and it fuels me to hold out just a little longer. Please, stay with me... My brain is processing the noises of people coming in the door.

A gentle voice shakes me, "Okay sir, I'm going to take over for you."

I move backwards, releasing my hands and the medical technician takes over quickly. I'm beginning to shiver and come to realize both of us still don't have clothes on. Keeping a close eye on the EMT's, I dress with haste. They have continued chest compressions and another is setting up an AED. My mind replays Jackson twitching under the defibrillator.

This is all too familiar, I'm trembling in shock and my hands fumble with my phone until I realize that I know none of his family. There's nobody I can call. I watch helplessly as Ren takes a shock, his body spasms. Instantly the paramedic returns to chest compressions. The air bag has been positioned over his face. As a second shock is administered, I can feel myself losing hope. As CPR is resumed there's a groan from Ren and I almost cry out in relief. 

They are speaking calmly to him, "Ren, stay with us bud."

He responds with another whimper of pain. He's confused and is trying to move the mask from his face.

"You have to keep this on. You're okay, you're at home. Just relax, you'll be okay."

I inch closer, I want to hold his hand and tell him I'm here. They're still talking with him gently. He's alive, but not very alert. The color seems to be coming back to his skin now. They are carefully getting him set up to be transported and I inch closer again. My body is still trembling, but I don't want to interfere by getting close to him. 

Ren is responding better now, with nods of his head occasionally. I search through the room and retrieve Ren's cellphone. I'm allowed to ride in the ambulance and when I get there, Ren is finally able to see me in his vision. Slowly, I slide my hand into his.

"Hey, I'm here okay?" I try to talk calmly, but I'm scared.

"I'll be okay..." He murmurs, "Can you call Tiffany...?"

I nod and I feel the tears coming back, "I love you."

Ren closes his eyes, his hand squeezing mine. 

In what feels like hours later, I sit with my legs curled to my chest. The hospital waiting room is brightly lit, even in the wee hours of the morning. Tiffany sits beside me, with a chair between us for space. She had all of Ren's emergency contacts and tried to call his family.