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by tylxreb

by tylxreb

Hi, I'm Tyler. I'm a 16 year old trans boy in southeast America with political and religious principles that don't match the rest of my region.

I've been dating the same person for 1 and a half years. I'm a shitty boyfriend and for some reason the smallest things he does piss me off for no reason and I hate it but it's involuntary. I do love him, I don't know what's wrong with me. That's a story for another part.

I'm the editor of my schools newspaper. I handle photogtaphy, web design, editing, writing, assigning, grading, etc.

I'm also a member of the Tech Club, now for two years. Chorus for now 3 years. I got elected into student government this year. I also recently got invited to the National Technical Honors Society, which I accepted. I joined Teen Democrats. I still coach robotics at the local elementary school but the season is over for now.

I'm taking AP US Government and Politics, AP US History, Chorus, Interior Design I and Journalism II. But, the semester is about to end so soon those last two classes will switch to Math III and HN English III.

Still don't really have a life plan.

Staying busy and involved is the only way to maintain my sanity. I only have one final exam to take, and a portfolio to turn in. I'm getting new glasses soon and I'm really excited. I also have to get my wisdom teeth removed in a month and a day.

It's almost Christmas, and I only have two gifts under the tree- which I picked out myself. So that's kind of depressing.

I'm passing my classes, but my AP teacher never grades anything, so once she does I'll probably be failing.

Tomorrow is the last day of school before Christmas break. It's a half dsy. I have a test on the Civil War.

I'm kind of depressed all the time. I sleep a lot and don't have much passion for anything anymore, which I guess is a problem but I don't want to mention it to my parents so I can get a therapist. They don't believe in depression,,not in people younger than them anyway. My dad will say "I thought you outgrew this shit" which he's done before.

My uncle lives with us. He's a jobless alcoholic with no license because he totaled our car, got a DUI, cost us thousands and forced us to switch insurance companies. He's had jobs in his time here but because he drinks 24/7 (mostly stealing our money and scrounging for change) he always just stops going until he gets fired. He's very annoying. Thinks he deserves everything, knows everything, and is better than everyone. Eavesdrops on me constantly to try to get something to tell my mom about. Lies and says I'm up till 6am every night because he's constantly desperate to get me in trouble. I hate his guts. Most of my rage, stress, etc. comes from his existence.

I began payments on my class ring, and recently hit the halfway mark. Only $300 to go.

I watch youtube a lot. GMM, Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, The Try Guys, reddit videos.

I haven't been suicidal or wanted to self harm in a long time, which I mostly credit to my boyfriend. Still sad a lot though.

The thought of sex or being touched makes me feel gross and violated so I try to avoid all remotely sexual contact, which my boyfriend has been very mostly accepting of.

I don't really have any close friends. I have a couple friends but we either don't or barely talk outside of school. One of them I'm growing closer with, but next semester we won't have any classes together and she's a senior so she'll be leaving soon. I try not to think about that a lot. I got her a Christmas present. I really hope she likes it. (she got me one too, but i already know what it is because i asked for it when she asked what I wanted) It's 2:36 AM. Goodnight.