My Random Guns N' Roses One-shots

Izzy x Duff x Steven (no traumatizing stuff (unless you count Christmas))

"What do you think of this one Izzy?" Duff was standing next to a Christmas tree that was a good two feet taller than him. It was a nice tree, sure, but Izzy had the feeling that the cost of the tree would be less nice. Upon further inspection, his suspicions proved correct. The tree was well over their budget. Nearly twice as expensive as the sort of tree they could afford. Also, there was no way it would fit in their car. Or in their apartment. Unperturbed, Duff moved on to the next aisle of trees, mumbling about how they had to find the perfect tree, pointing out several more trees that cost more than their car. Arguably, their car had been free- or stolen, depending on who you asked, Steven called it 'borrowed without a plan of return'- but the trees were still out of their price range.

The two of them were out buying a Christmas tree to surprise their boyfriend with. Duff was the sort of cheesy sap who would say that "it didn't matter what decorations they had so long as it was the three of them together", and Izzy, like with most things, didn't really give a shit, but they both knew that getting at least a half-assed Christmas tree would make Steven ecstatic. And so here Izzy was, visiting the third tree lot of the day, watching his boyfriend obsess over different species of pine tree with wet socks. He went up to a decent-sized tree that was well within their budget. "Hey, Duff, what about this one?"

Duff was immediately prepared with a list of reasons for why it was a substandard tree. "I don't know Izzy, it's kinda short, and a lot of the height comes from one branch at the top. Plus, its needles are kinda thin and wimpy looking. And it doesn't smell like Christmas."

"What the fuck does Christmas smell like anyway?" Izzy was ready to go home. First of all, it was really cold, even for the twenty-third of December. Additionally, they had two hours to get the tree, get back to the apartment, and get the tree set up before Steven got home from visiting his family, which Izzy knew from experience was not a supportive and happy environment that Steven should be left in for more than ten minutes, tops. Izzy would rather not be in the middle of holding a tree up when Steven showed up in need of a hug. Which was why they needed to hurry up and pick out a tree. But probably not the tree Duff was dragging him over to see, because there was no way that tree was fitting in their living room.

Out of the three of them, Izzy was probably the one that cared the least about Christmas. Sure, he liked boozy eggnog and free presents as much as the next guy, but if Christmas didn't happen, he wouldn't experience mind-crushing disappointment. In fact, he would happily sacrifice Christmas for checkout lines that weren't insanely long. He had gone to the grocery store and had ended up waiting a good half hour just to buy a jar of tomato sauce and some spaghetti for dinner, behind women in their fifties with carts piled high with shit like peppermint bark and all-purpose baking flour.

Izzy had then come home to find that his two boyfriends had found the time and resources to make paper snowflakes. A fuck ton of paper snowflakes. It was safe to say that they had made so many snowflakes they weren't gonna be able to find the space to put them all up. While he was sure it had been Steven's idea to make them, Izzy was equally sure that Duff had greatly encouraged the idea. He loved them both dearly, but sometimes they exposed him to too much happiness. When he had bent down to give them both kisses, Steven had scooped up all the paper scraps and dumped them in his hair while shouting "look, Izzy, it's snowing!" 'Seeing his boyfriends happy was always worth it, but he wished their happiness didn't involve an apartment covered in a fine layer of tiny scraps of paper.

"Okay Izzy, I think I've found the tree," Duff called to him from a few trees away, pulling him out of his thoughts. Silently hoping this tree was less expensive than the last three trees that Duff had thought were "the tree", Izzy went over to see the tree Duff had picked out.

"Why is it blue?" It wasn't like a bright blue, but this tree was definitely blue. Izzy had kinda thought that Christmas trees were supposed to be green.