Profs and Prophecy

Source and Sorcery

Chapter Five

Source and Sorcery

“You’ve got some nerve, coming in here all high and mighty, thinking you can tell me how to run my university,” said the Vice Chancellor.

Professor Toady had been standing outside the Vice Chancellor’s office door for ten minutes, listening to the argument. Apparently the Chancellor had arrived, unannounced. This was completely unheard of. The Chancellor was really only a figurehead, and rarely showed up in person. The Bursar had only ever seen him at convocation ceremonies, where he did little more than confer Honorary Degrees.

The Chancellor was theoretically the Vice Chancellor’s boss. He had every right to tell him how to run the university, if it so suited him. It just had never so suited him before. Professor Toady couldn’t think what might have happened that would be so important, the Chancellor would actually show up to take over. The Vice Chancellor seemed to have the upper hand though; he hadn’t heard the Chancellor get in a word against him.

The Bursar waited another five minutes, when the argument became violent. “Try to sneak up on me, would you? Hit me when my back is turned, you snake? Well how do you like this? And this?”

The Vice Chancellor was apparently pummelling the Chancellor. Professor Toady decided he had better go in to intervene before things were completely out of control.

The Bursar opened the door and entered, only to find the Vice Chancellor taking wild swings at empty office space. He seemed completely involved with this activity, and didn’t notice Professor Toady enter. “Don’t like that, do you? Not much in a fair fight, are you?”

“Ahem,” said Professor Toady, announcing his presence. “Cough, cough,” he tried.

The Vice Chancellor stopped in mid swing. He spun around to face the professor, his eyes wide. He spun around to face the other direction, composed himself, and then turned back to face the professor again.

“Ah, Bursar. Good of you to join me. I’m afraid you caught me in the middle of my daily exercises.”

“You was thrashing the Chancellor,” said the Bursar.

“Yes, very good exercise, thrashing Chancellors. I try to do a bit of Chancellor thrashing at least twice a week. Where’s he got to now? Oh, you seem to have scared him off. Couldn’t face the two of us together, eh Bursar? Well done, I say.”

“Well, thank you sir.”

“Yes, well done,” replied the Vice Chancellor as he straightened himself to his full height of five foot nine-and-a-half and glared at the Bursar, “now get out.”

“Sorry, sir?”

The Vice Chancellor advanced on the Bursar. “Get out. It’s not a difficult concept. Just do what you did to get in, only backwards. And don’t knock first. Oh I forgot, you didn’t do that on the way in, either.”

The Bursar slowly backed away from the clearly dangerous man. However, he had a message to deliver, and knew things would be much worse later if the Vice Chancellor did not receive it. “It’s just, you wanted to know,” he managed to say.

“Goodbye, you malodorous, bootlicking, obsequious little parasite.”

“See, it’s just that William YoungEarl…”

“Get…”

“has arrived on campus.”

“OUT.” The Bursar had been backed all the way to the open door. The Vice Chancellor grabbed the Bursar’s face and shoved it beyond the doorframe, slamming the door behind him.