10/20/2012 8:54 PM
I'm a kind of person who can't live without a PERSONAL DIARY! Kasi may mga times na gusto kong balik balikan yung past. But, sa panahon ngayon, di na safe yung secrets na sinusulat mo sa diary notebook kase marami ng pakialamera/o ngayon. My siblings always make pakelam pakelam my stuffs. :D Sooo, kaya nandito ako ngayon.
Actually, napag-isipan ko lang gumawa ng wattpad account para ishare lahat ng emotions ko. Wala kasi akong mapagsabihan. Yesss, may napagsasabihan ako- some of my friends.. Pero parang may kulang eh.
Today, I'm feeling so much sadness. :( It's because of HIM. Yung feeling na sweet lang kayo kahapon tapos cold ngayon? How is that? He's so U-N-P-R-E-D-I-C-T-A-B-L-E!!! :((
He's my bestfriend... Okay, I know, I'm just a friend not a GIRLFRIEND. Pero nasasaktan ako everytime kausapin nya ko like as if I'm just one of his ordinary friends.. :/ Guuuh! Kahit sino naman ayaw ng ganun diba?
Ewaaan! Pero may mali talaga eh. Okay na okay talaga kami last time. Nagkasakit lang siya tapos naging COLD uliiit. LORD, ang hirap pong manghula. Please gimme a sign if what's into him? I'm not used to like this. :/
Everytime I feel the pain, I end up CRYING. :'( Wala siyang kaalam alam nasasaktan na nya ko. OwYesss. Sguro nga meron na kong feelings sakanya. Pero pilit kong nilalabanan yun. Mahirap kasi eh.. MASAKIT...
N.P. Cold As You by Taylor Swift :'(
Sabi ni Ate Yang (my gourgeousss intense darleeeng), "Go with the flow Nak, sa ganda mong yan, dapat ikaw yung pinoproblema ng mga lalake." Okaaaay. Maraming gustong magcourt sakin, kasoooo... Parang di pa talaga ako handa. (I'm 2years single naaa.) Di naman sa nirereject ko sila, pero parang di ko ramdam yung sincerity nila. Kaya ayuuun. Tsaka pano ko naman sila mapapnsin kung si Bestfriend yung lagi kong pinagtutuunan ng pansin. IM SO UNFAIR ba? Sorry. :( Pero you cannot teach your heart.
Honestly, may inentertain nako sa mga blockmates ko nung pasukan... I almost fell for them.. Kasooo, I never felt this one before. That feeling na after two years of pananahimik, di mo expect na MAY MAGPAPAIYAK NA ULIT NG TODO SAYO. (Natural, I'm crying because I'm hurting. Kahit maliit na bagay bagay lang, nasasaktan ak dahil sakanya. POSSESSED? Di naman sguro. Ewaaaan).. To think na, WE'RE JUST BEST OF FRIENDS.
Di ko alam kung ako lang ba yung nakakaramdam ng ganito (I mean, na may gusto ako sakanya. At parang more than friends na yung love.)... Eh kasi ang sweet nya, ang bait nya, he's jealous minsan at siya ang unang nagsabi ng I LOVE YOU saming dalawa... Pero wala talaga akong idea kung yung sinasabi nyang PAGMAMAHAL na yun is beyond friendship. ASSUMING ako, kaya madalas ako nasasaktan. :'(
Ahh, bastaaaa. I'M HURTING ALL DAY LONG! :( Sana okay na lahat bukas. Yung tipong napatamis na ng mga greetings nya, ng ngiti nya for me. (ASSUMING again. :/) Ehhh. Basta sana bawas pain yung maramdaman ko bukas. :'( Good night!
9:57 PM
OMG! Eto na yung kinatatakutan ko ohhh. :( Nagchat siya....
Him: I wanna clear things out before everything goes out of hand...
Me: Bakit mo tinatanong?
Have you realize something?
Him: Kasi... I'm starting to wonder...
I'm starting to wonder...
Me:Wonder what?
Him: Kasi, I'm starting to feel things.. See things. Like, parang.. you have some stuffs for me.
I'm going offline muna, mom's calling me for a late dinner.
Me:Let's talk later.
Eatwell.
