baby love (h.s.)

five

I glanced up at the check-in desk a few feet away from me, avoiding eye contact with the bubbly receptionist. I had been awkwardly loitering for almost fifteen minutes, waiting for...what was I waiting for? A sign? The fetus in my stomach to disappear? Someone to shout at me?

My eyes darted down to my phone for what felt like the millionth time that day. A text from Harry. I hated to admit it to myself, but that was what I was waiting for.

I hadn't spoken to him since the night he'd dropped me home, even though I was pretty sure he had returned from Tokyo yesterday. I had, however, sent him three texts since I'd reached the hospital, reminding him of my (our?) upcoming appointment. An appointment that I was going to miss if I waited for him any longer.

I'm not angry, I kept on repeating to myself as I slowly made my way to the receptionist. I'm not even surprised. I'm just disappointed. It wasn't like we'd suddenly become best friends the last time we saw each other, but I had felt something shift, even though he had been driving me crazy. I thought we were moving forward. I was naive enough to believe he was serious about all of this. Clearly, I was wrong.

If my mum were to find out that he hadn't shown up, she would be extremely pissed, especially since she'd begged me to let her accompany me. I'd refused, on account of the fact that I was nowhere near ready to introduce Harry to my family. My mother wasn't exactly a difficult woman to please--in fact, it was the opposite. I didn't want her to become too obsessed with Harry, only for him to bail. Which was clearly what was happening now.

I glanced down at my phone again. Two twenty-four. Shit. My appointment was about to start. Before I could talk myself out of it, I marched up to the check-in desk and forced a smile on my face. "Hi. I have an appointment for two thirty, under the name Grace Nguyen."

The receptionist beamed up at me, flashing a set of the shiniest teeth I'd ever seen. Jesus. "Good morning, Mrs. Nguyen! You're right on time. You can go have a seat, and Dr. Salem will be right with you."

"Thanks," I swallowed.

I made my way over to the seating area, where I was met with the stark realization that I was the only person who had come alone. All around me, there were happy couples, husbands squeezing their wives' hands with excitement, expectant mothers practically bouncing in their seats. I'd never felt like more of a fraud. I'd also never felt more alone.

Is this what it's going to be like when I give birth?

I immediately silenced the voice in the back of my head. Of course not. I was going to have my mother, and my best friend Noor--that is, when I came around to telling her. That was enough for me. I didn't need Harry.

"Mrs. Nguyen?"

My head jerked up at the sound of my name, and I stood up to follow the nurse down the hallway. She blinked when she realized I was alone. "Are we waiting for anyone else?" she asked. "The doctor can--"

"No, it'll just be me," I cut her off sharply.

She blushed, ducking her head. "Of course. Dr. Salem will be right with you."

I stole one last look at my phone. Still nothing from Harry. I didn't have time to dwell on his absence any further, as the door opened, revealing a tall man in a white lab coat.

"Good morning, I'm Dr. Salem," he smiled warmly at me. "You must be Grace."

I nodded, struggling to reciprocate his smile. "It's nice to meet you."

"And how are you doing today, Grace?" he asked as he began to follow the standard procedure, like checking my heartbeat.

"I'm good," I said. "Just...getting used to all of this, I guess."