Kazuo

8: Dysfunctional

8: Dysfunctional

I didn't know the limits to my strength. Kenzo was on the ground. I started to panic. It was because I knew him personally that I felt reluctant to do him any harm. However, another man coming onto me gave me ptsd of Satou.

No no Ki. Kenzo doesn't care for you. He's just getting close to you so he could use you. He didn't contact you for years. That's what it is. Thinking those things to myself only fuel my desires to kill him.

-

I luckily had the plenty of medications to put him out as I did what I did to Pierre to Kenzo. Sawing off part by part didn't phase me anymore. It seemed like I was only butchering an animal and eating the meat for dinner.

I took all the parts and washed the blood off. I started to pile the parts in the huge freezer. I looked at the remains of Pierre that were already individual wrapped like chicken breasts in my freezer. I nervously laughed to myself. I'm going to hell.

-

That night I cried. I cried in my pillow. I did something bad. Kenzo was my only friend. I didn't want to feel regret. I did what was right. I clenched the pillow and sobbed into it.

I screamed in the pillow and quickly got up to get another shot of heroin into my veins. I was erratic and I needed to calm down before I do something more reckless.

I breathed slowly and decided I would try to sleep. Maybe I'll be better by tomorrow.

-

I dreamt of someone that had never crossed my mind. Satoshi. I dreamt of all the times I've watched over him and he would smile at me. His innocence pissed me off. Can't he see I'm not Kazuo?

I dreamt of that day when I watched him build his house of sticks. He was unaware of how close my proximity was towards him. I had a rock clenched in my hands. I didn't want him to love Kazuo anymore. I'm pissed. Why does he like Kazuo for? My eyes widened as I held the rock over his head. I wanted to beat him until he was mere blood and broken bones. I wanted to drag his body and throw it off a cliff. I wanted to kill this child.

-

I woke up in cold sweats. What the fuck did I dream of? Maybe something is seriously wrong with me. The flashback of Kenzo haunted me. I had remembered years ago when he told me to see a psychiatrist or therapist. I didn't want to. I felt they could see right through me. To them I must be transparent. I didn't want them to know that I had killed people. I didn't want to go to prison.

I didn't want to talk to Katie either in case I lost her. She's all I got left.

-

Later that night I took all the body parts and packed them in my car's trunk. I had to get rid of them.

I drove up to a abandoned forest I see every time I drove to work. I had to burn everything there.

I parked my car and took out the garbage bag I had kept all the evidence in. As expected I saw an empty barrel that I can dump the carnage in and burn. I started doing that. There was so much to burn that it took me a few hours before I could head back home.

By the time I got home, the sun was already rising. I sighed as it was a wasted day, but at least it was the weekend so I could sleep in.

-

I got home and laid in bed. I want to change. I'll have to cleanse with myself. I want to become what society calls normal. I won't do stupid shit anymore. Tomorrow I'll start a new slate.

My phone rang and that irritated me. I hadn't slept yet so I was really aggravated. I saw it was Katie. I picked up.

"Hello?" I said in a tired voice.