Moment to moment

-1-

Isn't it odd how we take moments for granted? We don't stop to think that we may lose them, that in one flicker of time they are gone. That feeling of happiness or contentment can vanish in seconds yet we don't come to fully appreciate them.

It's weird how the things we thought were always in reach could suddenly become unattainable. How something so simple is now a far fetched concept.

How in a blink of an eye the usual comfort becomes a distant daydream. That person you always see, now out of sight. Your best friend, a million miles away. Even the place you love to go, unreachable.

Well, I never expected this twist in my life that ripped my normal apart, that took the things that kept me sane and dangled them just past my finger tips.

Weird how life changed with no warning, making me and millions of others its victims.

Wish I could've cherished the good times just a little more.

...

The sun dipped low over the horizon, casting a red orange glow on the surrounding clouds and glittering surface of the sea.

The water merely rippled lazily, creating little waves that lapped at the sand.

I sighed contently,"It's all so beautiful."

Mira, my best friend, smiled,"I wish this moment could last forever."

We both sat with our surf boards to our backs, watching the sand shift below our feet.

Her hair was messy and wet from the salt water, yet shined a pretty brown and framed her face nicely. Her caramel eyes watched the horizon as the corners of her lips tugged up in a half smile. She seemed lost in thought, her head in some far off land.

I nudge her,"You good?"

She smirked,"Yeah just taking screenshots of what my eyes are seeing."

We both laugh, this was special, we hadn't had an evening like this in over a year. Technically we weren't even supposed to be here, but it's not a crime if you don't get caught, right?

After about half an hour more, the last rays of light disappeared into a faint glow and allowed stars to pop up across the sky.

Sadly, this was our cue to leave.

Without words, we loaded our boards into the bed of my truck. Our feet crunched in the sand and I found myself holding on to that feeling, who knows the next time I'll be here.

In an almost mournful silence, we pull out of the lot and drive away from the darkness of the sea.

Those seconds of sadness, seconds before disaster.

...

I jolt awake, staring blankly at the grimy wall in front of me. My heart aches as the remnants of my dream fade.

Exhaustion tugs at my mind, tempting me back into the comfort of sleep. Yet, fear of nightmares and memories long gone keep my eyes wide open.

After who knows how long, I rise to my feet grudgingly. My sleeping bag and thin blankets lay in a crumpled heap, a few feet away from them an empty bag and lumpy pillow sit.

Hm, he must've gone out.

I yawn, making my way to tiny bathroom on the other end of the room. The mirror is dirty but clear enough for me to catch a glimpse of my messy hair and bloodshot eyes. My skin is slightly pale and scars crisscross my jawline and lip.

In a few seconds, I change into cargo pants and combat boots, throwing a worn out black shirt over it. I braid my dirty-blonde hair into an uneven braid across my shoulder. Using as little water as possible from the jug on the sink, I rinse my face and hands.

I leave the bathroom and go towards the door leading out of the desolate apartment but hear a voice behind me.

"Forgetting something?"

I turn and see him leaning against the wall, holding a black bandana in his hand,"Where'd you go?"

He just stares blankly,"You weren't gonna leave without it, were you?"

I narrow my eyes,"Yeah, like it matters much anymore."

He shakes his head,"Yes, sitting in bed on the verge of death is just the thing to turn our world around."

"I don't wanna hear you're smartass talk right now, Kyle." I hiss.

"I don't wanna hear it from you either, I'm just trying to keep us alive."

"Where were you?"

He sighs,"Surveying the area, so far no new cases but also no recoveries." Looking down, suddenly sullen,"The twins passed this morning."

I curse under my breath,"When will this end?" I whisper it but he hears.

Taking a step towards me, he looks like he's gonna reach for my hand but thinks better of it,"It's just the world we live in now, survive and move on."

I stay still, practically shaking with frustration.

"Speaking of, we should probably leave soon. It's already been a month and just cause no new cases now doesn't mean there won't be."

I nod,"I need to drop by a few places, then we can go."

He opens his mouth to tell me not to, or something like that, but I meet his gaze and his mouth shuts. He knows where I'll go but if this is our last day, he won't stop me.

Silently handing me the bandana, I tie it around my nose and mouth. Then I swiftly leave the apartment, my footsteps echoing quietly on the floor.

I guess this is life, living moment to moment, racing death and hoping to hell you don't lose.