Darling, You'll Be Okay

Day 5

It had been two days since I went to Riley's. I didn't bother going to school on Monday. It was Monday and I felt like shit.

I walked straight to my locker, retrieved my Chemistry binder from the top level, and walked directly to my first period. I ignored the blatantly obvious whispers about me.

My secret was out. There was nothing I could do about it but keep my head help high. I was not defeated.

I sank into my seat, not looking at anyone. Riley came in and sat in his usual seat behind me. He lightly tugged on a stray hair of mine. He wanted to talk. I wasn't in the mood for much of a chat though. We sat in silence until the bell rang.

For the most part, class was silent. Mrs. Chadwick taught her lesson on Electronegativity, and I heard the occasional whisper "What the fuck does this even mean?" from Riley. I giggled lightly. Not loud enough for him to know I was actually listening to him.

The bell rang and everyone rushed for the door, minus Riley and I. I stood up and slipped my binder off my desk. I hadn't talked to him since Saturday night.

I slipped the long strand of hair behind my ear and looked back at him. "How was your weekend?" I asked politely before walking to the exit.

He followed me, "It was okay." He said scratching the back of his neck. "Yours?"

"After I went home Saturday night, I basically slept through Sunday and Monday." I said lying through my teeth. I had spent my weekend wide awake. How could I sleep with all of this happening?

He smiled slightly and nodded his head as we walked out of class. Usually we walked to 2nd period, but i just wasn't feeling it. I didn't wait for him, I walked straight to Spanish. I decided to sit in the back of the class today. Riley walked in a few moments later. He gave me a confused look before taking his usual seat in the front. Class went by quickly, when the bell rang I high-tailed it to the door before he had the chance to stop me.

I wasn't in the mood to talk, I just wanted to get through today and go home and sleep. I walked to the bathroom and slid down against the wall and pulled my knees to my chest. I buryied my face in my legs. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't bring myself to do that at school. I was so scared. I have no clue what I was going to do. This wasn't supposed to happen. Things weren't supposed to be like this. I was supposed to finish high school, graduate, and find the man of my dreams...

As I sat there, wallowing in my own self-pity, I realized that very rarely did life work out the way we plan. I got up and walked over to the sink and splashed my face with water. I grabbed a paper towel and fixed the little make up I was wearing. I wasn't going to let this beat me. I was stronger than all of this. I got up and walked to my next class.

The day went by withoug anymore meltdowns. I drove home and changed into comfy clothes. I was laying in bed when I heard someone come through the front door. I assumed it was my mom and yelled "In the bedroom" so she knew I was home. To my suprise, in walked Riley.

I sighed before sitting up in my bed, I threw my hair into a quick bun. He lightly tapped on my door. "Hey" I said in a quite voice. He walked in and sat on the bed next to my feet. " I don't bite." I said through a slight giggle. He kicked off his shoes and scooted on the bed so he was propped up against my headboard next to me. We both were looking up at my light blue ceiling with black birds flying away painted. We sat silently for a good 15 minutes.

He sniffled a little "Hey" he said quietly. I turned to look at him. "Hey" I smiled lightly. He moved so that his feet were under my covers. "Little chilly in here" he said with a little shiver. "Yeah sorry." I said. I was still looking at him. His head turned as if he was about to say something, our eyes locked. He leaned in slowly, Our lips met slowly, his hand moved to cup my cheek. I wish I could've said this was unexpected, but the sad truth was we both knew this was going to happen. It wasn't the kind of kiss you remember for th rest of you life. It was a very loveless kiss. Which is sad to say because there was defintally love between us.

I pulled away. "Riley, we can't do this.." I said not looking at him. I sighed. I hated having these feelings but I couldn't let this go on. It wasn't fair. He leaned back against the headboard.

"Yeah.. I know." He said with gravel in his voive. "We really need to talk about this more Emma."

"What is there to talk about? I got everything out Saturday night and we agreed we wouldn't talk about it anymore." I said plainly. I was trying hard not be oblivious to his feelings.

He looked over to me. I could tell this was killing him. I silently laughed at the irony of that statement.

I looked at the clock. My mom should've been home 15 minutes ago.

I grabbed my phone from my bedside table. I hadn't gotten any texts. Late again. No suprise.

I set my phone back on my nightstand, I slipped back underneath my covers. "You're welcome to stay over. If not you know the way out." I wasn't trying to be rude, I was just exhausted. I don't remember what happened after that as I had drifted off to sleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night and got out of bed to get a glass of water. To my suprise I found Riley asleep on the floor next to my bed. I smiled lightly before taking a pillow and slipping it under his head and covering him with an extra blanket.

This boy will be the death of me. I grinned, I'm okay with that.